'AITA for not letting my in-laws stay with us after I turned the spare room into my office?'

"AITA for not letting my in-laws stay with us after I turned the spare room into my office?"

My wife and I live in a 2-bedroom apartment. No kids, just the two of us. For the past couple years, the second bedroom was basically our unofficial guest room - mainly for her parents, who visit maybe once or twice a year.

I work from home full-time and had been working from the corner of our living room for way too long. A few weeks ago, I finally set up a proper home office in the spare room. Got a decent chair, desk, monitor - used some saved-up money to make it actually functional. Honestly, it’s made a huge difference in how I work.

Her parents are planning a visit this month and assumed they’d be staying with us like they usually do. My wife let them know that since the room is now my office, it’s not set up for overnight guests anymore — but we’d be happy to pay for a hotel or Airbnb nearby. I’ll still be working during their visit, so having them in the same space just wouldn’t work logistically.

They didn’t take it well. Her mom made a snide comment like “didn’t realize we needed a reservation now,” and her dad asked why I thought a desk was more important than family. Now there’s tension, and my wife is feeling weird about the whole thing.

I genuinely didn’t mean to upset anyone. I thought offering to cover a nearby place was a fair compromise - they’re still welcome to hang out with us all day, I just need a quiet space to work. But now I’m wondering if I handled it wrong or came off cold.

AITA for not making the office a temporary guest room again?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Suncroft56 wrote:

I think it was a fair and very generous compromise. NTA.

It's your space 24/7, 365 days a year. You should not have to work in a corner of the living room to keep a room ready for occasional guests who only visit sporadically. They're being ridiculous.

Marvin1955 wrote:

It's your home, and now your office. You work to support your family. Leaving a room vacant to be used once or twice a year (!) while you work in a corner of the loungeroom is ridiculous.

Your in-laws need to get over themselves, and I think your wife needs to give them a stern talking to. Perhaps they could fund a 3 bedroom apartment for you to make life easier for themselves? You are not the AH here, particularly since you offered to fund their accommodation.

VivianaRay_ wrote:

Got you. Boundaries don’t mean disrespect. You’re not the AH at all, man. You didn’t kick them out, you offered to pay for a whole place nearby—that’s more than fair. They visit once or twice a year, but you work from home every damn day. Your job and sanity matter too. I had to do the same with my space and yeah, folks were weird about it at first, but they got over it. You did nothing wrong.

Specialist_Point1980 wrote:

A desk is more important than family that visits one to two times a year because that desk is where you do your work that pays for the rent and bills of the apartment your in-laws want to stay in.

“That desk is important because that’s how I get my work done so that your daughter and I aren’t homeless. Why is your vacation more important than your daughters and son in laws livelihood?”

NTA.

LetAdventurous341 wrote:

NTA. I had a similar situation with my in-laws. I’ve found they do not understand the legitimacy of a wfh job, so they don’t understand the need for a good workspace.

Second, you buy/rent your home for you and your wife, it’s what you need 90% or more of the time. It’s not your job to purchase space that accommodates out of town guests, if that’s a luxury you can take on, then maybe, if you want to, but it’s always your choice.

Scush266 wrote:

NTA you offered to pay for a hotel room or airbnb which is insanely generous. This is your wife and yours home not your in-laws it’s somewhat abnormal if they just “showed up whenever."

It’s your space you get to do whatever you want with it and paying for a place is an amazing offer that would like be nicer than staying in the guest room (not saying your house isn’t nice). I would say “making a reservation” is somewhat needed from in-laws obviously the answer will almost always be yes but it isn’t their house so they don’t get to assume they can show up anytime.

Lost_Preparation_835 wrote:

NTA – You offered a reasonable solution and were considerate. Turning the room into an office is not a lack of respect, it is a work necessity. You offered to pay for a nearby place so that they can continue visiting without problem. They are reacting emotionally to the change, but you didn't do anything wrong.

originalcinner wrote:

Family used to stay in our spare bedroom, until we got a cat and now that's his personal palace. His food and water are in there, and his litterbox. There's still a king size bed, because sometimes even married couples need to quarantine for covid or whatever, but that room now belongs to the cat.

You can sleep with the litterbox, or you can stay at a hotel. But really, honestly, you're going to freak the cat out by being in his personal space, so it's the hotel or nothing.

No one has to keep a spare room spare all year, just so someone can visit for one weekend.

nightcana wrote:

How about putting a sofa bed or something like that in the office? Unless you work at night, theres no reason they cant sleep in there. They just cant use the space during the day.

We keep a bed thats super quick and easy to put together/pull apart for the same reason. It makes the space a bit squashy when in use, but gives infrequent guests somewhere private to sleep. But we also dont live anywhere near any form of accomodation.