'AITA for not letting a man borrow my clothes after he came to my place after a Halloween party?'

"AITA for not letting a man I barely know borrow my clothes after he came to my place after a Halloween party?"

Not sure where to begin with this but I'm a woman and a college student. I guess last night there was a big Halloween party on my campus, and all around the frat hosting it as well as neighboring houses and bars were guys dressed in various costumes.

A lot of these guys (particularly frat guys and gym bros) were wearing outfits where they were shirtless or wearing shorts showing off their muscles despite it being freezing outside here.

My roommate was dating this total nut job named Ryan, and as far as I knew, they were broken up. Well, at like 1am, she comes bursting through the door with Ryan and his friend I've met once or twice in tow dressed like to show off as a hot cop and WWE wrestler.

I was a bit annoyed since I was enjoying a chill night in playing Stardew Valley and watching my fav Halloween movies and said "hi" when they came in and tried to move on with my night. Meanwhile my roommate and Ryan went to her room.

It's after 2am now and they still haven't come out and the other guy was sitting on the other couch. He told me he was the designated driver, would I mind if he charged his phone and hung out until he knew what Ryan was doing? I said fine. Maybe 15 minutes later, he said something like, “I know this is so weird for both of us, but I’m not here by choice.

I just don’t want to bail on my friend since he's drunk, but sitting here with a girl I don’t really know while I’m half naked is weird, and I’m cold. Do you have happen to have some sweats and or a hoodie I can borrow? I've seen you in class twice a week, and I promise I’ll give them back.”

I told him no, I don't know him well enough and wasn’t comfortable with that. He asked if I at least had a blanket. I found one of my roommate's blankets in a closet, but it was too small for him since he was tall, and I said I was sorry, it’s the best I could do. He fell asleep on the couch, and I went to bed.

My older brother came to pick me up for breakfast, and he saw the guy sleeping on the couch and asked why a half naked dude was sleeping under a baby blanket. In the car, I told him what happened. Instead of getting mad at the guy for showing up barely dressed he instead got mad at me, saying I had about 30 opportunities to be a good person and I blew it.

He said it sounds like the guy was trying to do the right thing by his friend, and I could have let him use my oversized sweats, or I could have let him sleep in my bed while I took the couch. I could have said that he should go home and I’d drive Ryan home… but basically, I was an AH because I left an apparently nice guy in a vulnerable position and didn’t even care.

He said that I need to grow up if I want to have friends and have some empathy if I ever want guys to like me. This pissed me off because he knows I've had a hard time with being single since my high school bf left me unexpectedly and I didn't like the guy or know if he liked me even. AITA here?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

galactaspore wrote:

NTA. No you did not need to give a half-naked stranger your bed, or your clothes, nor did you have any obligation to drive Ryan home either as you did not bring Ryan. You do not need to be a doormat to make friends and this is a strange male uninvited yet in your apartment. A lot of people seem to have expectations on you taking care of a situation you did not cause or ask for.

RudyMama0212 wrote:

NTA. Although, I would have pointed out to the DD that he did his job - he drove roommate and Ryan to a safe place. He's now free to go home and sleep warm and comfortably in his own bed. Let Ryan figure out how to get home in the morning.

I would also have a chat with the roommate - and Ryan - about how incredibly rude they were to both you and the DD and made it very clear this would never happen again without some serious drama coming down.

Illustrious-Onion329 wrote:

NTA. Next time, you could call your brother at 2am to bring clothes for the half naked stranger hanging out on your couch. He was fine on the couch and had several options for solving his own problems without putting you out.

He could have collected his friend and told him it was time to leave. He could have packed an after party bag with appropriate clothes in his trunk. He could have gone home and told Ryan to call when/if he’s ready for a ride.

Persephone-456 wrote:

NTA. I don’t get why the guy didn’t go home. Clearly, Ryan had found a place to sleep for the night, so his services as a DD were no longer needed. Some of your brother’s suggestions are kinda unhinged.

Why on earth would you sleep on the couch, so that a half naked stranger could sleep in your bed? He wasn’t your guest! Plus sleeping in a public space with two strange men in your apartment makes you vulnerable.

If strange men are in my home, I want to be on my room where I can lock the door. Lending him a blanket probably wouldn’t have killed you, but the half nakedness is a stumbling block for me. Your roommate is an AH. It might be worth having a talk with her about guest policies in the future.