My husband is the only boy in his family of 7 and he was always really the “man of the house." When we got together, we moved very fast. We moved in together, got married, and pregnant with our baby within the first year and a half of our relationship so I never really got close to his family but we got along well...
(So I thought) up until we agreed to stop paying his mom's bills. We were paying them so she could get on her feet but with the baby coming we just thought it wasn’t very smart of us to continuing using a good portion of our money/savings on his moms rent/bills, we could be putting that towards our baby and his future.
This upset the whole house and everybody started to tell us how they really felt, well not even us, just me! they think i’m corrupting his head, making him distant himself from them, I “took their leader and support” and I’m just like what the actual f.
This man and I have a family, I’m not taking anything away from them, but we’re his family now too. His mom talks about my baby and me on facebook constantly and I say nothing to this lady! Literally.
My husband had a birthday dinner Sunday and it was very awkward and just not friendly. All of them basically ignored my presence (except for 2 sisters) and were being shady the whole dinner but I never said a thing.
Towards the end of the dinner his mom comes and tries to take my son out my arms without even saying a word to me, I'm like wtf. You don’t even say a word to me but can come and try to take my baby out my arms??? After you’ve been constantly talking about my son and I on facebook as a 50-60 year old woman?? REALLY??!
I just pushed her hands away and starts yelling and “I can’t take my grandbaby” in the middle of the restaurant like...I just left y’all now they’re talking about I ruined his birthday dinner and want to make everything about me but I just want respect. It’s Wednesday and their still blowing my husbands phone up about this. I’m honestly confused.
bubblyrosepetal said:
NTA. Your MIL is disrespectful given the context of her past actions. You’re not wrong to want respect as a mother and as your husband's partner. Her trying to take your baby out of your arms without speaking to you, especially after badmouthing you publicly was inappropriate.
Your husband's family needs to understand that respect is a two-way street and that your priorities are now with your child and husband not appeasing unnecessary drama.
Better-Cucumber-7424 said:
NTA. You’re his family now, and they need to respect your boundaries. You’re not taking away their son/grandbaby, but you’re just setting healthy boundaries for YOUR family. Honestly, if they can’t respect that, it’s not your problem. You’re doing what’s best for you and your baby.
SpringfieldMO_Daddy said:
NTA - but I think you might be misplacing your frustration. It seems like your husband has a huge part to play in this as it is his family. Why isn't he resolving the issue with is wacky family? He should be talking to them about they they are treating you.
Tasty-Adhesiveness66 said:
NTA, if you arent good enough to talk to then why would she have the right to hold your baby. respect goes both ways.
Similar_Corner8081 said:
NTA. I hope you bought your husband a spine for his birthday. You have a husband problem. She treats you that way because he doesn't stand up for you. My niece went through this and she ended up blocking her bf's mom because she caused drama.
quizzicalturnip said:
NTA. I hope your husband is standing up for you. It sounds like it’s time to go no contact with these people for a bit. They are not entitled you or your baby, and if your MIL is dragging you publicly, then there is no reason to speak to her at all.
Your baby is little now, but you don’t want them growing up and seeing how his family treats you and thinking it okay to treat others that way or to let themselves be treated that way. This is as much for you as it is for your child. Make sure you and your husband get on the same page about this if you’re not already.