"AITA for not letting my boyfriend move in with me?"
I 28F live alone with my dog 12F let's call her Nina she is my baby I found her and her siblings when they were about 2 weeks old and care for them. Only two survived sadly but I have to admit I spoiled her since the beginning because she barely made it.
My boyfriend 30M still lives with his mom which is not abnormal in our culture but lately they been fighting a lot because his sister moved back in with her kids and he doesn't have much space, he has a very good job so he can realistically move out alone but he is very insistent in wanting to move with me.
We've only been dating for 8 months and I don't think we are there yet also every time he visits he complains about something about Nina. He got mad the other night because he wanted to sleep over and wanted me to kick Nina out of the bed and I refused. I told him before if he doesn't like it he can literally just break up with me. I'm not changing mine or Nina's life just because he doesn't want to move out alone.
Well on Friday he got into a big fight with his family because one of his nephews grabbed his Nintendo switch and damaged it or something and he came to my house with all his things packed pretending to just stay over without telling me. He was immediately trying to change things around. He said Nina can sleep in the floor in our room or in the living room but he ain't living with a dog who is on the furniture.
To make the long story short I kicked him out and told him he never even asked if he could come over and Nina lives here, he doesn't. He yelled a lot and got even more mad when I didn't react. He left and has been texting me from a hotel telling me he's losing money because I'm mean and a bad gf.
I told him we'll talk again once he gets his own place. I told my friends about it and some of them were on my side but others said I was prioritizing a dog over a human and yes maybe but why is it so wrong? I started doubting myself but I'm not really willing to make my dog suffer because he can't adapt to her or find his own place so AITAH?
This is what people had to say to OP:
Kindly_Candy_4831 said:
NTA, Break up with this guy - not just because he cant respect that your dog lives there - but because he doesnt respect YOU and the rules in YOUR home. If you let him move in he will just take over, and he'll probably abuse your dog when you're not around.
this guy doesn't communicate with you, he imposes himself on you without warning and then tries to throw his weight around. He truly isn't worth your time. he sounds like a nightmare.
OP responded:
I wanted to break up but my friends said I was overreacting so I doubted myself
Own-Raisin5849 said:
NTA: Also, you aren't necessarily "prioritizing a dog over a human", you are prioritizing your established life and how you do things over someone that you met 8 months ago, who wants to move into YOUR place. They don't get to make demands.
FormSuccessful1122 said:
NTA You're prioritizing yourself. He doesn't just get to decide he's moving into your place. That would absolutely be the end of the relationship for me.
Curious-Griffon278 said:
200% NTA!! - Your bf is a big man child and is trying to take over your space, UNINVITED, and dictate what you can and can not do IN YOUR own PLACE. That's a BIG NO!! Even worst... after only 8 months of dating??? I only see lots and lots of 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩!! He's a bully and a taker. I, personally, would break up with him. But that's me.
One week later, OP shared this update:
To make a very long story short I broke up with him. I didn't feel like being a mature person so I sent him a text and then blocked him again, he decided it was a good idea to get drunk and tried to break into my building and the security had to kick him out, I already removed him from the visitors list so there's no issue there I also decided to talk to my boss just in case he tries anything stupid.
As for Nina she's spoiled as ever maybe even more, were preparing for the fireworks on Christmas and new years, i have some blankets, ear plugs, and her favorite treats just in case. And that's the update nothing particularly dramatic just immature I guess lol. I think that's all for now