'AITA for not letting my neighbor's kids use my pool without an adult, even if they 'just wanna cool off?'
"AITA for not letting my neighbor's kids use my pool without an adult, even if they 'just wanna cool off?'"
Hey all, So I (40F) have a backyard pool that I maintain myself. My neighbors (the Johnsons) have 3 kids (8, 10, 12), and we've always been cool. Every now n then, they’d ask to use the pool, but only if me or one of the parents was around. I’ve always said yes when that was the case.
Lately tho, the kids just show up asking to jump in, sometimes even walking right into my yard without asking. I'm usually working or busy, and I don’t feel okay letting them swim without an adult there. I got a fence, but still — safety’s a big deal.
Yesterday, the 12yo knocked, and before I even opened the door, the younger two were already headed to the pool w/ towels. I told them nicely, “Sorry guys, no swimming unless an adult's here.” The oldest gave me attitude, saying I'm being mean and it’s hot out.
Later their mom came by and was mad. Said I’m being “unneighborly” and “ruining their summer.” Basically said I should let them swim freely since they "know how." Felt super awkward. So… AITA for sticking to my rule about no unsupervised kids in the pool?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
Schezzi wrote:
NTA. Kid drowns in your pool - you're liable. Mom wants to complain, then she should come supervise. Not your job to be babysitter or lifesaver.
OP responded:
Yep, exactly! not here to be a lifeguard or babysitter for free. They want pool time, they need an adult there. Simple.
Embarrassed_Scar2783 wrote:
The audacity of this woman. NTA. She’d be the first to sue you if they got hurt or drowned.
Sucks that you let them in the first place but it’s your prerogative to change your mind in accounting for their safety.
OP responded:
Totally! I honestly didn’t mind before but once I saw how casual they were about it, had to put my foot down. Safety comes first!
Shredditorburnit wrote:
NTA. Check out what happened to Barrymore. Tell the mum they can swim if she supervises them. Tbh I think you're being incredibly generous letting them use your pool as it is. I'd have thought the best part of having your own pool was not having to share it.
Major-Organization31 wrote:
Obviously NTA, here in Australia any kids under 10 must be accompanied by an adult and some places under 5s you need to be in arms reach. Wouldn’t you want to make sure your kids are safe? It only takes 10 minutes to drown and permanent brain damage in as little as 4 minutes.
Substantial_bid_2096 wrote:
NTA - honestly I wouldn’t want her kids in my pool whether there was an adult there or not. The rule should be that one of their parents must be sitting in your garden supervising. That will end the swimming in the pool pretty quickly. Mum can take the kids to the beach or something or a local pool so their summer isnt ruined.
TeenySod wrote:
100% NTA. No adults, no swim, and make sure that they can't reasonably access the pool without YOU present as you clearly can't trust the parents given the entitled behaviours. Set dates and times when they can use the pool: any other time, it's closed, your pool, your rules.
Might be worth googling some of the tragedies that have already happened and showing to the mum with a "THIS is why. I am happy for the kids to use the pool. I will NOT run risks with them." Don't argue any further.
CardiologistFun7 wrote:
NTA and also grow a backbone and set some boundaries. You didn’t “ruin” their summer, you don’t “owe” them your pool !! WTAF.😳 don’t let them manipulate you. You let them a few times and now they think they can just stroll in like it’s their house? Put a lock on your gate. It’s not on. They need to learn manners and most importantly Boundaries. It’s not a communal pool is it?
Great_Beginning_2611 wrote:
NTA. First of all, it's your pool and your property. You are well within your right to not let the kids use the pool at all, but you're being a good person and letting them use it responsibly. It's not only a huge safety issue but also a huge liability for you. That same mother who's bitching you out for ruining their summer would probably be the first to sue or press charges if one of her kids drowned in there.
Besides, just because you know how to swim doesn't mean you're immune to drowning. Anything can happen. She has no right to act so entitled about YOUR property. If she wants her kids to be able to swim unsupervised then she can get her own pool, otherwise her kids will need to follow your rules.
International-Fee255 wrote:
NTA. Do you have a gate that you can lock? If not, get one. Cameras and a sign as well if possible. Their mother clearly doesn't care about their safety but I'm sure she would happily blame you if something happened to any of them.
Her attitude says she's more interested in a quiet life than looking after her kids so they can no longer be trusted. Make it known around the neighbourhood that you don't want kids swimming unsupervised.