"AITA for not letting my niece play with my son's toys?"
My niece (4f)? She keeps destroying my sons (1m) toys, he has a few ball pit balls that I bought for him and my niece keeps biting holes in them. I had some foam mats that I put in the floor and she would bite pieces of foam off of the mats and leave bite marks in them. She keeps trying to tear the little shape pieces off of his walker and c in those too.
The last time she did this I scolded her and told her to not put her mouth on someone else's toys because that's gross. She ignored me so I raised my voice at her and sent her back to her Mama's work area. I sent her mom a message about her destroying the toys and to please have a talk with her about it.
My brother (34m niece's dad) came into my room and got in my face angry. When he asked what toys she "destroyed" I showed him the little ball pit balls, the foam mats, and the teeth marks in his other toys. My brother said "it's just a bunch of cheap toys, it's not like she destroyed some $200 tablet."
Since this incident I have been taking his toys away from her and not letting her play with them. Each time I tell her to leave his toys alone she asks me why and I tell her that she's not allowed to play with his toys since she doesn't know how to be kind to others toys. My brother is calling me an ahole and our parents are kind of siding with my brother.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
slackerchic said:
NTA. If she is old enough to ask why then she is old enough to be told why.
FairyFartDaydreams said:
NTA. Her parents should be asking her "Is that yours?" When she answers no they should be telling her "Then leave it alone" this is basic enough for a 2-year-old to learn.
105020lbg said:
NTA!!! Your brother needs to teach his daughter to respect others and their things. If he doesn’t, some other kid will and it won’t be pretty!
JCDagz said:
NTA - your brother is TA. Just because things are not expensive doesn't mean that they can be destroyed without consequence. The pit balls and mats mean something to your son, and your brother and parents not siding with you basically means they don't give a crap about him. I'd honestly be worried for your niece - if she likes to tear things up with her teeth, she'll finally swallow something that might hurt her.
Present-Assignment99 said:
I read through the comments and see that the niece is 4. She’s old enough to be told not to break toys and to be redirected. You’re NTA.
onitshaanambra said:
NTA. But be more direct. If the niece asks why she can't play with certain toys, tell her it is because she bites them. Then let her play with them in a week or two, for a short time, and see if she can control the biting. If she does, let her play with them a bit longer next time. And so on. If she starts biting again, take them away.