'AITA for not letting my roommate eat my groceries after they forgot their wallet?'

"AITA for not letting my roommate eat my groceries after they forgot their wallet?"

I live with a roommate who came home late and said they had forgotten their wallet at work. They asked if they could just grab some of my food “this one time.” I said no. I don’t like lending food it’s not just money, it’s that I plan my meals and buy specific things for myself.

They got really annoyed and said I was being “petty” and “not a friend.” They ended up ordering takeout but kept sulking for the rest of the night. The next day, they told our other roommate I was being selfish, and now everyone’s giving me side eyes. I don’t feel like I did anything wrong. I’m happy to help in emergencies, but forgetting your wallet isn’t really an emergency. AITA?

EDIT: There are some things I forgot yall. First I always ask them if the need any groceries in the house when I go shopping I just ask to be paid back for it and they decline every time. Second I told him we have bread for toast or a sandwich and he decided to order takeout. I am getting absolutely chewed up in the comments 😂

But that’s okay I love hearing everyone’s opinions and reactions and seeing more outcomes I could have or should have done and will consider doing in the future.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

SDStartingOut wrote:

Info: Is this a friend, or just a roommate?

Because nothing in your post speaks of a pattern; this was a one off instance. And like, yeah, a friend would help a friend out.

OP responded:

Well correct, but he turned around and ordered takeout so he just wanted my food and if he can offered his own why have him eat my food when I pay for and have their be less for me?

JadeIsland wrote:

YTA. If your roommate had a history of leeching food off you, I would agree with you. But, it seems that wasn't the case. Doing a nice thing once should have not been such a big deal for you.

OP responded:

I get that but as I said in other comments it was less of a I need some food real quick I’ll pay you back and more of a let me take your stuff so I don’t have to use my stuff.

AgeAdministrative256 wrote:

What person in this day and age can’t eat at their house just because they forgot their wallet? Does roommate not keep any food at home? And why not use the phone as a payment method for in person, pickup, or delivery groceries?

OP responded:

That’s what I’m saying.

Johnny_Poppyseed wrote:

Lol people commenting nta here are wild. Assuming this isn't a frequent trend, as you probably wouldn't have mentioned that in your post if it was, not giving a roommate a little food when they ask one time and when they even have a reason, is pretty crazy.

I'd give a stranger a meal if they asked me like that, let alone a roommate or friend lol. You're totally TA and you just foolishly created a lasting hostile living situation for yourself, over basically nothing.

OP responded:

It’s not about just giving someone food it’s about being responsible and making sure you have your daily necessities I’ve always offered to get them groceries if they pay me back and they decline so them not having what they need is totally on them and this is a lesson they need to learn.

almalauha wrote:

YTA. If this was the first time or something that happens rarely, you're definitely the ahole here. Not having your wallet with you meaning you can't shop in the shops is a form of emergency when you've got no food at home. You couldn't spare some cereal, instant noodles, bread with peanut butter, an apple?

Be prepared to NEVER get anything from anyone in the house. Ran out of cooking oil at 11 PM and you still want to make dinner? Sucks, because no housemate will give you any of theirs. Ran out of laundry detergent and the shops are closed but you need to wash your clothes now? Good luck using shampoo instead.

OP responded:

Oh I’m prepared because I’m a grown adult that knows how to make sure I have the necessities I need before I ever run out!

peggypigs wrote:

YTA. And I’m a little surprised at the NTA and just how mean/selfish we are all becoming. I get it. It’s OP’s money/groceries. But helping someone in need is how you make friends. It’s also just a one time thing.

If this was a pattern and they were constantly asking for your food, then of course you stand your ground and say no. Keep in mind that the next time you are ever in need of a favor, this roommate is not going to help you out lol.

Edit: Looks like OP edited the post and added some extra details such as there’s bread and toast or a sandwich but the roommate declined and opted for take out. When I originally commented, OP made it sound like this was a one time thing and just said no to the roommate.

In some other comments OP mentions that the roommate borrows things all the time and never pays him back. OP added all this context after many comments and I find it weird that it was never mentioned in the original post.

hmmgg wrote:

My god, this thread so beautifully represents how redditors are just such antisocial losers. My god people. I mean there are circumstances where you wouldn't be an AH. If this was regular occurrence or if he was rude to you or whatever. From what I can tell though, the person you live with and are "friends?" with asked for some food and you just said no, because you're essentially selfish.

Like yeah he can order food, but it's slower and more expensive. And you don't even feel bad. So yeah, YTA and a terrible friend and don't expect any favors moving forward. Just an fyi, this is what society is, helping each other out. You can stay as you are, a loser on the edges or maybe consider your actions from another POV.

Artistic-Vacation-592 wrote:

“I don’t like lending food” This is an interesting concern of yours. While it’s technically not your responsibility to feed others, something happened with your upbringing that a simple ask of sharing a meal with someone who doesn’t have any makes you size up that person so aggressively.

That you actually denied a person your food, and also came to complain to Reddit about it, says kind of a lot man. Obviously your roommate ordered takeout, so they had money to eat, thankfully.

But what if they weren’t able to eat that night? You saw they ordered food, so you know they did. But up until that moment you were totally fine with your friend just not eating, you actually openly said no. You are definitely asshole pocket checking food.

Purple-Haku wrote:

If they can order takeout, why not just pay you back.

Sounds like they wanted free food...

NTA for standing up for yourself and your pre prepped food.