'AITA for not making the dinner that my husband requested?' 'I'm not his domestic servant.'

"AITA for not making the dinner that my husband requested?"

My (28f) husband (31m) and I have been married for a little over two years. I'm currently about 2 months pregnant with our first child. My husband works as the general manager of a local fast food franchise. I'm not under employment anywhere, but I do a lot of freelance technical writing work from home.

My husband's position pays surprisingly well with good benefits, but he's been having to put in a ton of hours lately, as staffing has been a major problem. The other day, he texted me to let me know that he would be working late; AGAIN, for the fourth time this week.

A little later, I texted him that I was going grocery shopping and asked if there was anything special he'd like me to pick up while I was there. He responded: "Get me a couple packs of peach sparkling water, please. Also, I could really use some comfort food. You think I could get some meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and corn?"

I responded with thumbs up and winking, kissing face emojis. I bought him everything he asked for. However, I had already thawed pork chops for dinner that night, and, honestly, they were on the verge of going bad so I had to use them up.

When my husband got home, he asked where his meatloaf was. I told him that I'd bought the ingredients but that I wasn't serving meatloaf that night. He then said that this was the one thing he'd been looking forward to for the past couple of hours, and that I'd made it seem as if I was going to make it for him.

I told him that I'd never said any such thing, and that I'm not his domestic servant, taking dinner orders. He shot back that if I didn't want to make what he asked for that I should have just said so, but I said that all I'd indicated was that I'd pick up the food, not that I'd make his requested meal that evening.

This whole thing could probably be written off as a miscommunication, but, honestly, I'm angry that my husband seems to assume that I'm at his beck and call to make whatever meal he wants. And he's angry that I apparently "can't do one nice thing for him when he asks." Who's the AH?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

BuilderWide1961 said:

YTA. Tbh this text made it seem like you were making that. You thumbed up the message and did a kissy face about it…I’m a women, yeah if someone texted me that I would think they would be making it for dinner that night. The confusing is pretty understandable on his part and his disappointment makes sense.

HugeInTheShire said:

YTA. The way I would have read that from his perspective was that he'd be coming home to meatloaf, seeing as you said you'd make it. Your message response is 100% the response you'd send if you're planning on making what he asked for, seriously you gave him a thumbs up.

Now you're saying crap about him assuming you're at his beck and call, when it was clearly you that agreed to make it and then didn't. You could have saved yourself a lot of headaches by simply saying that you'd already take pork chops out but maybe you could make meatloaf tomorrow.

InesMM78 said:

YTA. You misled him into thinking that dinner would be what he asked for (even though you knew you would be cooking something else). He returned home, salivating in anticipation of these dishes.

Worth-Season3645 said:

YTA….you may not be at your husband’s beck and call, but you knew exactly what he was implying when he asked for his comfort food. You know he is stressed and working hard for his family and the staffing issues are not going to get better anytime soon.

You sent cute emojis to his request. You never stated it could not happen. You gave the impression it was going to happen. All you had to do was shoot him a text, “hey babe, I forgot about these pork chops. I need to make them instead." Instead, you let him think all day that he was coming home to his favorite meal.

I have done this many a time as well, had meat out, or had in fridge and then never got to use it. I have cooked a few things in one night so as not to let the meat go to waste.

Pork chops and the meat loaf could have been baked together at the same time. Pork chops could have been used the next night or for lunches. I say this as one who has a hard working husband as well and my Brown sugar meat loaf is one of his favorite meals.

wayward_painter said:

YTA He asked you do to something, you told him you would and then didn't communicate plans changed. So of course he's disappointed. The pork chops would have kept for tonight's dinner. Sounds like you did this to punish him for working late AGAIN!!! Communication is important in a marriage.

PsychologicalMonk354 said:

What the heck does being pregnant have to do with this story? YTA.

funsized1217 said:

YTA - you 100% made it seem like you were making meatloaf, mash potatoes, and corn. You aren't the ass hole for not making it, you are the ass hole for pretending like you don't understand why he was disappointed. Your communication was off/wrong. He is aloud to be disappointed and upset by the lack of meatloaf.