'AITA for not picking up my friend's girlfriend after her tennis class?'
"AITA for not picking up my friend's girlfriend after her tennis class?"
I have a strict rule in my life: after I put my work clothes in the laundry basket, take a shower and put on my sweat clothes, its day over for me. it means I won't leave the house again until the next day when I put my work clothes again in the morning. I generally dine at around 6pm and take a shower by 7pm. So 7pm is usually when my day ends. All of my friends know it.
However, sometimes in cases of emergency I will put my work clothes again and leave my home, or even leave my home in my sweat clothes if there isn't enough time. I absolutely hate going outside in sweat clothes, but I still do it when absolutely necessary.
Last Thursday, shortly after 7pm, my friend phoned me. he asked me to pick up his girlfriend at 8pm from her tennis class and drive her home. I asked him why he couldn't do it himself, he said he promised her he would drive her home the day before but the boss decided to force him to stay longer at work (probably because got caught slacking off on duty again).
I told him I was already in my sweat clothes, but he still insisted. I refused, since that didn't seem like an emergency to me. At almost 11pm he knocked on my door to tell me his girlfriend had to wait for 2 hours, until he managed to leave work and pick her up.
I asked him why she didn't call an uber, he said she doesn't have the uber app, but to me that seems like her problem, not mine.
Him and his girlfriend had a big argument but they didn't break up.
Maybe if she had broken a leg or something I would consider it an emergency. But waiting for 2 hours in a rainless mild summer evening is nothing (I live in the southern hemisphere so it's summer here).
The weather last Thursday evening was mild, like 16C, I remember it very well. When I was a kid I would often wait up to 2 hours after school for my father to pick me up. Sometimes the temperature was under 0C. Sometimes I had to stand under cold rain, snow, and wind.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. None of this is on you at all. He called, you said no, end of story. Why a grown woman would wait two full hours without handling it herself is beyond me. Talk about being helpless.
I love that she's athletic enough to play tennis, but couldn't walk any amount of distance in 2 hours...
just had to stand there...
I would say NTA because you had no obligation to go pick her up. HOWEVER your friend needed a favor and your excuse was that you didn't want to get dressed again? Come on. Sometimes you have to inconvenience yourself to help others.
ESH, mostly because I think your “rules” are dumb. Look, you had no obligation to pick her up in the first place. It’s not your problem. Downloading the uber app or finding another way to call a cab is not hard. But like, just own the fact that you don’t want to do it.
Your rule is just something you made up, and there are plenty of non-emergency situations where being so rigid will make you an AH. Acting like “aw shucks I would love to help but I absolutely can’t because I already changed” is pretty disingenuous.
Regardless the stupid rule, pick up the girlfriend because on her tennis lesson? She waited 2h because she doesn't have the uber app installed? She doesn't have a phone to call a cab?
Come on, the boyfriend is the AH for even consider to phone someone to pick up his girlfriend... and she is because she doesn't understand he didn't pick her up because of work! Are they 16yo? For ffs!
NTA. He should have called his own gf an Uber. He is the one who made the promise to pick her up, not you.
NTA. The girlfriend is a grown-up adult but can't be bothered to download Uber or Lyft? And then they get in a big fight because she can't figure out how to get home when her boyfriend is at work? So much drama.
NTA but OP better hope he has no emergencies because this is going to come and bite him in the arse. I generally am willing to tolerate mild inconvenience occasionally for friends because one day I might need that favour back.
Same, like I probably would of put my clothes back on and helped a bro out cause that's what you do for friendsa ans folks you care about. And even selfish motivation like needing the help later is better than a don't care one.
ESH. Your attitude is terrible, however, it's bizarre that she couldn't get a ride-share. If she doesn't gave transportation she should know how to use public services.
Do you know this woman and socialize with them on occasion? You seem like a terrible friend, and no one cares if you go out in your sweats. Have you considered investing in some casual clothing, not sweats, for your days off or for social events?
But keep in mind… Villages require villagers. This is a sure fire way to burn bridges and eventually end up all alone. Sometimes, we do things that are not the most convenient for us in order to help a friend. One day, you’ll have an emergency and need a friend to help you out. Who are you going to ask when you haven’t helped them?