'AITA for not sending my sister an invitation to my wedding?' 'She called me a selfish person.'
"AITA for not sending my sister an invitation to my wedding?"
We had spent more than a year organizing our wedding, my fiancé and I. It was to be a small, private celebration with just close friends and family. This was the kind of wedding I had always imagined: sincere and love-filled, with no pretension.
Agnieszka, my sister, is five years my senior. Her jealousy and hard-charming nature have been the main reasons our relationship has never been easy. Our relationship has essentially ended in the last few years due to her habit of starting disagreements over insignificant matters.
Rather than congratulating me on my engagement, her first words were to ask if I was "really sure he was the one." I choose to overlook it in order to concentrate on the good.
But as the big day approached, I began to fear that Agnieszka might spoil everything for me. She started recommending that I invite her friends—people I didn't even know well—change the location, choose a different color for my dress, and more. She seemed to be attempting to dictate how I spent my day.
I had to make the tough choice to not extend an invitation to her. I reasoned that this was the only way to guarantee that the day would be fully mine, devoid of drama and bad vibes. She caused a stir when she learned.
She called me a selfish person and said that my family should come first. Not only did my mom and grandmother realize how strained our relationship was, but they also felt that it was too much.
Everything about the wedding went off without a hitch or concern. It was everything I had imagined and more. But afterwards, I started to question if I had made the correct decision. Was it right to leave my own sister out of a day this significant? AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Tight-Drawer-4094 said:
You had a vision for your wedding, and you needed to stick to it. Sometimes, keeping things peaceful means making tough calls. It’s understandable to question it, but your day was what you wanted.
There was little to no reward for inviting her as compared to inviting her & possibly ruining the best day of your life, especially seeing how she acted in the past, NTA.
HumbleWarning976 said:
NTA the day was about you and your husband. Not you and your sister which is what it would have been had she attended. Congratulations!
th0ughtfull1 said:
NTA...your sister sounds like the heap of unwanted drama that would have spoilt the day...good call.
KickOk5591 said:
NTA, it was your day and your sister had to deal with the consequences of her actions.
doodle_mint said:
NTA. You are not. The wedding should be about yourself and your future spouse -- not her. From the information given, it sounds like she hates not having the attention on her or would throw a fit if things didn't go exactly her way. You had to make a tough decision which led to you cutting your entitled bratty sister out, sadly.
SnoopyisCute said:
NTA. I didn't have a wedding, at all, just to prevent family drama. Congratulations!
DawnShakhar said:
NTA. Yes, it was right to leave out your sister. She is not only your sister - she is your chief detractor, questioning your choice of partner, trying to control your wedding, sending bad vibes all over the place. You were right to exclude her from your happy day, so that it would indeed be happy.
annebonnell said:
NTA how can you even question not inviting your toxic sister? Is she had been at your wedding or had anything to do with the planning, she would have ruined the day for you.