'AITA for not stopping my BF’s drunken outburst at my sister’s birthday dinner?'

"AITA for not stopping my BF’s drunken outburst at my sister’s birthday dinner?"

A few nights ago, my older sister had her birthday dinner in Vegas. It was a whole thing—nice restaurant, private room, fancy waitstaff, the works. Everyone was dressed up, the drinks were flowing, and for the first part of the night, everything was going great.

My boyfriend and my younger brother had been gambling earlier that afternoon, and both of them came into dinner already tipsy. My brother sobered up pretty quick once the food came out. My boyfriend, on the other hand, just kept going like no tomorrow. He ordered more drinks, started getting loud, laughing too hard at things that weren’t funny, and generally being that drunk guy.

At first, I tried to rein him in—told him to chill, reminded him where we were, that this was my sister’s birthday. He brushed me off with a casual “I’m fine, babe, relax.” I let it go, because I’ve learned that arguing with a drunk person in public usually makes everything worse.

Then the waiter brought out the wrong appetizer. Simple mistake—our order got swapped with the table next door. The waiter apologized immediately and went to fix it, but my boyfriend lost it. He started ranting about how people in Vegas can’t do their jobs and how he was paying five-star prices for one-star service.

The poor waiter kept apologizing, but my boyfriend got up from his seat and got right in his face. Not touching him, but close enough that the whole table went quiet, So of course I yelled at him to get tf down and leave the waiter alone and then my brother had to step in because he was being that much of an @SShole.

My boyfriend eventually left before they had to kick him out or call the cops and my brother left early to drive him back to the hotel. Dinner was very awkward after that—of course, why wouldn’t it be?

Anyways, my sister was nice about it and said she didn’t blame me for it. My brother agreed and told me he had it handled. He knows how my boyfriend gets when he’s drunk, and he wasn’t going to let me deal with that.

But my mom is furious with me. She said I let it happen, and that I should’ve stood up and stopped him before he embarrassed the family. She also told me something about how I should’ve gone outside, talked some sense into him, and made him come back in to apologize like an adult.

And now, I wasn’t doing anything and just watching. I was actively doing something—granted it was yelling at him, but I wasn’t about to stand up and push him back down into his chair 8mo pregnant. Anyways, my mom just kept complaining about how it was my responsibility to put a leash onto him when he’s acting stupid.

But my sister and brother are defending me because I possibly couldn’t do anything about a grown 31 year old man losing his $#it on a waiter, my mom and dad (who wasn’t there because he was busy) thinks that I was too sweet on him. Was I the @SShole?

This is what people had to say to OP:

AsylumDanceParty said:

"he knows how my boyfriend is drunk" why are you with someone who clearly has a drinking problem?

Amazing-Wave4704 said:

Forcing a drunk to come back in and apologize is a dangerous escalation and you were right to avoid. Its not on you to correct your boyfriends behavior. Moms an AH. Now. Lets talk about what a piece of shit your boyfriend is. Someone had to intervene to prevent him from attacking a Waiter for a simple and easily rectified mistake.

He's dangerous. He's a useless angry drunk. He ruined your sister's birthday. And you're so used to it, its not big deal. And THAT is where you are the AH. God just read the part where you're pregnant. Put your kid first and get this dangerous drunk out of your life. And hers.

RVFullTime said:

BF is a raging alcoholic and is unsafe to be around you or a baby.

NoSummer1345 said:

Your BF’s not just an alcoholic, he’s a mean drunk. If you stay with him, your life will get worse.

OneTrackLover721 said:

This is who you've chosen to have your baby look up to...

Chemical_Author7880 said:

I was going to ask why you stay with this guy, then you slipped in that you are 8 mos. pregnant. Your mom is being an unreasonable bitch but she is not your problem. You are about to have a baby with a man-baby who gets ugly when he’s drunk and who appears to do it often enough your brother knows how to handle him.

Don’t marry him. And don’t allow him around the child until and unless he gets into recovery and counseling for his anger issues. The alcohol doesn’t make him and angry asshole, it just lowers any inhibition that keeps him from being an angry jerk in public. I wish you and the baby all safety, security, and love.

OP responded:

Honestly we only got back together for the baby since he said he could be a good dad. Besides that nothings really keeping me to stay with him 🤷🏾‍♀️. Thank you tho