'AITA for not taking my fiancé’s kid to trick or treating and went to a Halloween party instead?'
"AITA for not taking my fiancé’s kid to trick or treating and went to a Halloween party instead?"
Halloweendrama2024
I (F, 29) is engaged to my fiancé (M, 35) . My fiancé has a 7-year-old son from a previous relationship. His ex got pregnant on their first date due to a broken condom, and they tried to make it work for the sake of the baby.
She eventually left him when their son was 2, and I met my fiancé about a year later. His ex can be very difficult, and my fiancé avoids confrontation because he’s terrified of losing time with his son; she constantly threatens to take him to court again and “make him pay for it.” It took years of court battles for him to even get 50/50 custody.
Anyway, his son (his ex doesn’t like me to refer to him as “step-son” or “son,” only by his first name) was with us last night. He was supposed to go trick-or-treating with his dad.
I had a Halloween fundraiser party for work that I had to attend, as I was the emcee, so I couldn’t just cancel last minute. My coworkers and I were also doing a group costume (Golden Girls – I’m tall, so I was Dorothy), so there was no way to back out.
My fiancé texted me saying he had to stay longer at work because his boss required it. I told him I couldn’t take his son trick-or-treating and asked what I should do. He never replied.
I then reached out to his ex, explaining, “I know it’s not your time, but could you do us a huge favor and take him trick-or-treating? I really can’t miss this work event.” She said no, stating, “It’s his time, he should figure something out,” and added that she had plans with her new boyfriend and his kids (9 and 11 year olds).
Next, I texted my best friend, who has three kids around my fiancé’s son’s age, to see if she could help. Her kids have had playdates with him before when he was with us.
She said it wouldn’t be a problem, so she picked him up, and I headed to the party. My fiancé later picked him up from her house, and his son told him he had a great time trick-or-treating with the other kids.
My friend posted a photo of the kids trick-or-treating and tagged me and my fiancé. My fiancé commented, thanking her and her husband for “saving the day.” Meanwhile, my coworkers tagged me in posts from the company event.
My fiancé’s ex then lost it. She posted online, accusing us of being selfish and caring more about work than spending time with his son, claiming that I prioritized “partying and drinking ” over being there for him.
She even stole one of my tagged photos, saying that if I cared more about partying than taking care of a child, I wasn’t ready to be a stepmother or mother. All the comments on her post sided with her, saying I should have canceled because it was “just a party.”
My fiancé told me I did the right thing and that we should just ignore her. But was it a selfish move on my part?
AITA?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Con4America
NTA but WHY is she able to see anything from your social media accounts? That is dumb on your part. Block her from everything.
HappyxHolly
Absolutely agree. It’s definitely not your fault for having to go to work, and blocking her from your social media is a smart move. You shouldn’t have to deal with her drama or let her dictate how you live your life OP. NTA.
BeachinLife1
Um, no, the kid was under his DAD's care. You had a work event. Why didn't they think dad should blow off work to take HIS son trick or treating? You should comment "well, after his own mother refused to take him trick or treating with her boyfriend and HIS kids, I made arrangements for him to have a great time with his friends."
ReaderReacting
You did just fine. Fiancé is an a$$hat for ditching you with no plan. Ex is ridiculous as she is accusing you without knowing the facts, while she prioritizes a new bf and his kids over her own son.
AdWaste3417
You made it possible for this kid to have a fun Halloween with other children he likes! She could have prioritized her own literal son, and you did a better job of caring about his happiness than she did! NTA.