'AITA for not taking my girlfriend's children out after promising them I would?' UPDATED
"AITA for not taking my girlfriend's children out after promising them I would?"
So this happened today and I feel both angry and a bit bad. So last night I (m32) went to my girlfriend's (f34). The plan was to stay over as I was supposed to be looking after her two children today whilst she went to work.
She has two boys 14 and 12 who are usually ok just staying at home for a few hours whilst she's out. Instead I suggested I take them somewhere. We never made exact plans but more we'd see what the boys felt like doing when they were up and dressed.
So I got there last night after work and offered to treat everyone to some food to save my girlfriend from cooking. The boys decided on pizza. I needed to grab a shower and change. Instead of waiting the boys and their mum went over to dominoes with my card. Its only about 3 mins drive and I was was happy to stay put.
Now I'm veggie and don't eat meat. I told my girlfriend to order whatever everyone wanted but just make sure there's something I can eat. The two boys were looking at deals on their phone and the plan was to order and then go collect.
So long story short they get back with two massive pizzas a load of sides and two tubs of Ben & Jerry's. Other than the ice cream there wasn't anything I could eat apart from a bit of cheesy garlic bread. There was even meat on the fries.
I asked if they got me anyrhig and my girlfriend just shrugged and both the boys laughed. To top things off they just went and ordered straight from the menu instead of ordering any deals. Not only did it cost me a bomb bit I had to sit there and watch them eat.
My girlfriend said there's food in the house and I could make myself something to eat. I told her I was looking forward to a take away and that I was gonna go get myself a pizza. I left and actually got myself a Chinese. I was in a bit of a grump and went home to eat, watch a film and sleep. Not once did my girlfriend text or ring to ask if I was coming back.
So today I woke up and just thought sod it and decided to stay home. About 10am I get a txt from my girlfriend asking what time I'm going over and that she was setting off to work. After telling her I'm staying home she rang me to call me petty and to stop sulking.
An hour later her ex, the boys dad txt me to say I'm a POS for letting his kids down. I told him to wind his neck in and maybe go look after his kids himself for once.This apparently caused drama as my girlfriend txt and called me again saying her ex had accused her of slating him about not doing enough for his kids. I ended up hanging up on her and just turned my phone off.
I spent the rest of the day out on a walk with my brothers family instead. When I got home and turned my phone on I had received various messages calling me selfish and an AH. So AITA? I know if I was bitter and maybe should of done something. The boys are young and I did promise wed go do something together?
Later the same day, OP returned with an update.
A few people have asked for an update. It's almost midnight here in the UK and I need to go bed as I've got work in the morning. I'm going to sleep on it but think I might take a step back from my girlfriend.
I know this post makes me seem like a mug but honestly this is just a snippet to my relationship. I've known this woman for 6 years and have been in a relationship for the past 8 months.
Things have been fine but a few things Ive noticed these last couple of months have started to get my back up. I messaged her to say ill go round tomorrow to talk. Basically I'll lay out how she made me feel and I'm willing to walk away if she's dismissive. She's still mad with me so we will see how it goes.
Oh and I took a few people's advice and checked my bank. I'm guessing it was one of the kids but someone has been buying films off of Amazon prime. My girlfriend uses my account so she can watch a program called Below Deck. The films that were bought aren't exactly her type so someone else has been taken them.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Is this a common thing for her to just take your credit card and spend money like that? To me, I would be more upset at her response considering she doesn't seem to have any remorse. I am engaged and I wouldn't even touch his cards without asking. How long have you two been dating? NTA.
I’m married and I wouldn’t even grab my husbands card and just spend $$ like that.
Not usually. I gave her my card as I wasn't going with them. I do usually pay for everything when we go out but that's because she's bringing up both boys on her own and is only able to work part time. Her ex sees the children but isn't able to help out financially.
It's just the usual date night stuff like drinks and a meal. Although I did get her boys a PS5 for Christmas to share. Somehow they managed to break it after a month but that's a story for another day.
I don't know your relationship but to me is a red flag. What was her response to the broken ps5?
The PS5 was on a chest of drawers next to the TV in their room. It either fell off or was thrown on the floor. It was found broken and no one owned up. She said it was basically my own fault for buying it.
Whelp - that relationship is toast. Your girlfriend sees you as a wallet that will watch her kids.
You bought them food and they couldn’t even get you something and now she wants a favor?? NTA.
I'm assuming that you mean your ex-girlfriend, because she obviously does not respect you and why would you stay with someone who doesn't respect you?