'AITA for not taking my mom to the hospital after she slipped on the stairs?'

"AITA for not taking my mom to the hospital after she slipped on the stairs?"

A little backstory my older sister and I are in our 30's/40's, my mother lives with us, and there's not many boundaries my mother respects. She doesn't cook, doesn't clean, doesn't drive, doesn't pay ANY bills other than rent, and is a former substance abuser (sober now).

And when I say she literally does nothing, I mean NOTHING! Everything is always "I need help" which is code for "Can you do it for me." No matter what it is, she won't even google for information that she herself needs, she will ask one of us to do it. And before you ask, no she's not disabled, nor is she incapable of caring for herself.

So she has these house shoes that we have told her time and time AND time again to stop wearing on the stairs, they fit loose on her feet, and they have no grip on the bottoms so they are slippery. SHE WILL NOT STOP WEARING THEM! About a week before Christmas she trips over the last 2 steps before the landing, we look at her ankle, she can move it but says it hurts...

Ok understandable, she has high blood pressure so her feet are generally swollen regularly. We propped her up, elevated, and wrapped her ankle, told her to ice, heat, take Ibuprofen for the pain and inflammation, past that day she's done NONE of it. She can still move around on it, slowly but she can.

On Saturday she asked one of us to make her a plate of food, mind you we ALL didn't feel good in different ways, she refused to eat because one of us didn't make her a plate.

So she's basically been milking the "care" since then, and it's turned into basically waiting on her hand and foot. Now she is arguing to go to the hospital. Won't call 911, won't care for it, won't even google Urgent Care hours on her own (yes she asked us to do that for her too), but is saying "You won't take me, YOUR MOTHER, to the hospital."

So my question is AITA for not going out my way to keep caring for someone that not only does nothing, but not even doing anything to help herself feel better? P.S. - She's still wearing those same house shoes on the stairs.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Jantares99 said:

I suggest that you move. NTA.

Becalmandkind said:

ESH. Look, you’re so frustrated with her because of everything she does and does not do—it’s understandable, and I’m not sure why you put up with it. Can’t she live somewhere else? But I don’t think the issue of taking her for medical care is where you want to draw the line.

The ankle might just be sprained, but she could also have a small fracture. It’s possible to walk on an ankle with a fractured fibula (one of the two leg bones that are part of the ankle joint).

So take her to Urgent Care (or her PCP) tomorrow, but she doesn’t need to go to the ER. And do something about the situation. Not sure if she’s eligible for assisted living or a group home, but your situation is not sustainable. I suspect she will be forced to be much more independent when strangers are looking after her. Life is too short for you to live as frustrated as you clearly are. Make a change.

Simple_Apartment3279 said:

I'd throw those shoes out and get her a new pair. NTA.

Secret_Sister_Sarah said:

NTA - if it was so terrible, and she has access to a phone, she wouldn't wait for you to help, she would make that call herself.

Amazing_Reality2980 said:

NTA but why are you letting her live there? Sorry, but that would be a no for me, thanks.

Purple_Paper_Bag said:

YTA - not to her, but to yourselves. Why are you enabling this behavior. If she doesn't make her dinner - then she doesn't get any. If she doesn't cook, clean, pay for anything, then have a formal eviction letter prepared for her. It sounds like you don't like her anyway.