'AITA for not taking my niece who has cancer with me on my honeymoon??'
"AITA for not taking my niece who has cancer with me on my honeymoon??"
I know this sounds so wrong and weird because it is. Like I don’t even know how I’m in this situation. But basically I’m the youngest out of 4 siblings and I’m getting married next month to my fiancée and partner of 7 years who I’ve been with since we were both 17, and we’re going on our honeymoon to Italy and France.
My oldest brother has 3 kids including a 9 year old daughter who’s the middle kid and she sadly was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago at 6. It broke the entire family and we really love her.
The treatments and everything have basically bankrupted her parents and we’ve all been helping out with what we can but they’re still broke and can only afford the basics, so no vacations or toys, and it’s really sad.
My niece have wanted to go to Europe for a while but they can’t afford it obviously. I didn’t want her to know that I’m going to Europe. I’m not really rich like that, especially since I’m paying off my student loans while also saving for a house with my fiancée.
My in-laws are gonna pay for this as a wedding gift for us which we’re really grateful for. But my mom spilled it and talked about the trip infront of my brother and his wife and now they want us to take her along.
My brother called me yesterday and said he knows it’s our honeymoon and knows it’s weird but he wants me to take his daughter since it’s honestly not looking too good for her right now and this might be her only chance to go before the worst happens.
I apologized and refused because honestly I don’t wanna even think about my niece let alone watch her during my honeymoon. I love her to death and wish her the best, but for the past couple of years she’s been on our minds constantly and we all love her but a honeymoon is just supposed to be about us.
Plus, what if something bad happens while she’s with us? Honestly I’m not ready for a responsibility like that. Now they’ve involved everyone in this and they’re calling us selfish and that we can always go on a real honeymoon later but she might never get to go on a holiday and it’s honestly just getting to me.
I really love my niece and if I could take the cancer on myself I would but I don’t know it’s just too much, now they’re accusing me of not loving her at all. AITA here? Genuinely, how do I go about this?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
NTA. Have they contacted Make-A-Wish? Taking a seriously ill kid to Europe without her parents is asking for nothing but trouble. Tell everyone with an opinion to pool their money so her parents can take her to Europe.
Make sure to offer to contribute too. It would be great for your niece and her family to have those memories, but it can't be on you to give up your honeymoon and take on the huge responsibility of her care.
Came here to say this! I would be too worried to take her both away from her parents and to another country while so sick, regardless of it being a honeymoon or a regular vacation. What happens if she has a medical emergency while abroad?
Her parents would be unable to reach her and then what?!!! Approach future conversations from a medical and safety standpoint and offer to assist with any Make a Wish applications.
NTA. Tell your brother you really can't afford an extra person to take with you. And tbh it is kind of an unreasonable request to ask of you. And your brother said it's not looking good for your niece so travelling without parents and medical care is not really a smart idea. I just hope your brother doesn't tell your niece anything and break her heart and pressure you.
NTA. It is insane anyone would expect you to take a medically fragile child on your honeymoon. It’s even more insane to take a medically fragile child on an international flight away from her care team.
NTA. It's YOUR Honeymoon. You two get married and need to spend that time together.
NTA, your brother sounds extremely entitled to even ask.
BandicootFlimsy4434 (OP)
My brother is a good man and a great dad, but he’s watching his baby slowly dying man, that’ll mess anyone up.
EVEN if you wanted to take her on your honeymoon, could your niece get medical clearance from her doctors to travel abroad? Is she physically able to make such a trip and be comfortable on that trip?
Traveling with a sick individual requires a lot of coordination and thought - and that’s just for traveling in the United States. Imagine taking her overseas! And, speaking as a mortician, if the worst were to happen while you were overseas with her, it would be a logistical and financial nightmare to get her home. So, go enjoy your niece-free honeymoon.