"AITA for not wanting to talk to my sister after she didn't invite me to her wedding?"

So I (19F) have two half sisters, "Haley" (30F) and "Sarah" (32F). Before my dad met my mum and had me, he was married to "Mary" (60F) and had Haley and Sarah. My dad wasnt happy in their marriage, and after around 15y of being married they filed for a divorce. 2-3 years later my dad met my mum and they fell in love.

My dad didn't want to start a relationship because he didnt want to hurt Haley's and Sarah's feelings, but eventually decided to have me with my mum. Which didnt turn out to be a problem, since Haley and Sarah were ecstatic to hear they're getting a baby sister. They also never had a problem with my mum, they like her and my mum is always there to help them when they need help.

I saw them a lot growing up, and our relationship was pretty good. Sarah was especially fond of me, inviting me to her place a lot and doing a lot of fun stuff together like going to the movies. Which is why I was devastated when she didn't invite me to her wedding. When my dad told me Sarah was getting married, i was overjoyed.

I know her fiance and he's really nice, and i was super excited to go dress shopping, since i thought i would be invited. I wasn't, because Sarah's mom Mary never wanted to see me, she's basically been ignoring my existence ever since I was born. My dad and sisters always took care so that i wouldn't run into her when staying at Sarah's place, for example.

Sarah never told me I wasnt invited to go dress shopping, I found out by Haley telling me what a nice dress they picked out. I was taken aback, but didnt think too much of it.

My sisters wedding was in Italy, and when my dad booked the ticket to go I realized i wasn't invited - since he only booked one. My mum had warned me after they got engaged that i probably wouldn't be invited and to not get my hopes up, but I didn't think Sarah actually wouldnt invite me because her mum cant cope that my dad moved on and had a child with another woman.

What hurt most though is that Sarah never told me I wasnt invited. No text, letter, talk, nothing. She just moved on with her life like it never happened, she never tried to talk to me about it. When I saw her at family gatherings after, she only made small talk with me, as if nothing happened.

Ever since then I detached myself from her and didnt go over to her place with my dad or anything. After a couple months i completely stopped talking to her, because i noticed that my mental health was suffering and i decided to do whats best for myself, which is going NC and avoiding her at family gatherings or not going altogether.

Its been 4 years, and my dad asked me to maybe talk it out with her. He doesnt want to pressure me to anything, but he says that family is important and that he would like it if we got along. He also told me he never knew she never told me i wasnt invited, that she told him she had talked to me. He understands im upset and he doesnt want to get involved, he just told me how he felt.

She's also been trying to reach out to me a couple of months ago by asking my dad if he could ask me to have a talk with her (which is why he brought it up in the first place). AITA for not wanting to talk to my sister since its been so long? Should I just "get over it"?

Edit:

I didnt block her on my socials, so she couldve reached out to me if she had wanted to. She still can, her number isn't blocked. I only unfollowed her on ig.

Maybe I should add this wasn't a one time thing. After her son was born, I wasn't invited to his birthday party because her mum was there too (I just gave the present i got him to my dad who gave it to Sarah at the party, she later called me and said "Thank you". I was a bit bummed out but understood. Grandmother cancels out aunt lol.)

Also, because I saw a lot of comments speculating i might be an affair child and that's why Mary is so offended by my existence - I'm not. Disregarding the fact that my dad would never cheat and that my mom would never degrade herself to be a "mistress", they met through mutual friends well after the divorce and said friends are still in their life and have told me how they met a hundred times lol.

Additionally, my dad did stand up for me to her, he criticized her not wanting to invite me but it was her wedding and they have a... weird relationship, in the sense that they argue a lot because they're both hot-headed and stubborn. It's complicated and a lot to get into. I hope i cleared some things up!

What do you think? AITA? Should she just "get over it"? This is what top commenters had to say:

grandoledog said:

NTA and I don't understand why it's up to you to reach out to her. Why hasn't she reached out to you? I don't think your dad getting involved in this is a good idea.

Selenophile91 said:

NTA. It's been 4 years and she didn't reach out to explain or apologize. And now your father wants to sweep it under the rug and make it your responsibility for something that hurt you and you had no fault in? She knew what she was doing was hurting you, because she didn't even have the courage to tell you in person that you weren't invited.

Yeah, no. If it happened for the wedding, it's gonna happen when she has children, and it might happen with your other sister as well. You don't owe her a talk. Your feelings are valid. If your father cared, he would've spoken to HER back then.

NTA. I hate it when people tell the wronged party to be the bigger person and accept crap because "family". Where was "family" when you weren't invited to her wedding?

bumblebee7310 said:

NTA. If family is so important, why won’t Sarah reach out to you first? It’s been years. The way I see it, is you’re over it but that doesn’t necessarily mean that things will be back the way they were.

lynypixie said:

The real @$$hole here is Mary, who more than likely made Sarah choose between her own mother or her sister.

And bumblebee7310 said:

NTA. If family is so important, why won’t Sarah reach out to you first? It’s been years. The way I see it, is you’re over it but that doesn’t necessarily mean that things will be back the way they were.

Update:

Thank you guys for all your comments. I appreciate that you took time out of your day to give some judgement and advice :) Anyway, for the "update": While this sub did deem me to be NTA (but was split on whether my sister, her mum, my dad or all of them were TA), I do feel kinda uneasy not talking to her at all, forever.

She requested to follow me on Instagram a few days ago. I think this is a subtle way of telling me "I care about what's going on in your life right now", but I might be wrong. Nevertheless, I let her follow request sit in my inbox for a while and thought about how i handled things moving forward.

I also took into account a lot of advice you guys gave, even though a lot of you were split between "Cut her out of your life forever" and "Maybe talk to her" lol. I think I'm going to accept her request and see what happens. I think I'm ready to talk about what happened and how that made me feel, to explain why I was so hurt not to be invited and why I decided to go LC/NC.

What I'm not sure about is if I'd accept an apology (if there even is one) or if I'm ready to start a relationship with her again. I guess I'll update you on that, if something happens. And if you guys want another update that is, lol. Anyway, thank you guys again!

P.S. I forgot to mention in the original post, but my sister Haley got engaged a couple months back. They haven't set a date yet, but she mentioned to my dad wanting to invite me AND even my mum! Let's see if she follows through. If so, I might have a new favourite sister! Jk lol. But I'm actually curious to see how this pans out.