'AITA for not telling my best friend that he was being investigated for fraud?'

"AITA for not telling my best friend that he was being investigated for fraud?"

Several years ago, I moved to a new city for work. At my new job, I formed a close friendship with Ryan, who played a crucial role in helping me get accepted into the company. Although Ryan left the company a few months after I started, our friendship remained strong and even deepened over time.

Almost every weekend, we would go out together. During the week, we’d catch movies, go to fun places, and even take trips with our significant others and other friends. We were inseparable, always supporting each other. But then, things took an unexpected turn.

Years later, while I was still working at the company where we met, an internal investigation revealed that someone Ryan had hired was involved in a fraud scheme against the company.

Because of my position, I became involved in the investigation, which included looking into anyone who had direct ties to the suspect. Since Ryan had been the one to hire this person—despite no longer working there—he was also scrutinized, just like other employees who had connections to the suspect.

As part of my role in the investigation, I had to sign a confidentiality agreement that strictly prohibited me from discussing any details of the case. Even though Ryan was my best friend, I chose not to tell him. I was afraid that he might warn the suspect, as he had completely trusted this person.

Plus, since he no longer worked there, he didn’t have access to the evidence I had seen that confirmed this person’s guilt. I knew he would probably believe the suspect was innocent simply because of how much he had trusted them when they worked together.

It’s important to note that Ryan was cleared of any wrongdoing. In the end, I didn’t see the need to tell him, since the investigation continued and I was still bound by my confidentiality agreement.

Years after the investigation ended and my confidentiality agreement expired, I decided to tell Ryan everything (something I regret and always will). His reaction was pure anger. He felt betrayed by my silence, and despite my attempts to explain that his investigation was just a routine part of the process and that he had been cleared from the beginning, he chose to cut off all contact with me.

Over time, I’ve tried multiple times to repair our friendship, but Ryan has remained distant. I miss him deeply, but I wonder—was I in the wrong, or did he never truly value our friendship the way I did? Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to stay close after this.

And through all of this, I’ve learned that losing a friend can hurt just as much—if not more—than a breakup. AITA for not telling my best friend he was being investigated for fraud?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Curlys_brother_3399 said:

Why???? Would you say something years later? I would not be mad at you, but I’d never look at you the same way, much less trust you. You could have went the rest of your life and never said anything and your acquaintance would have not been any wiser. Some things are better left unsaid. YTA.

lordmwahaha said:

YTA but not because of the investigation - because you told him later and there was no reason to. You caused him unnecessary pain to ease your own guilt. It was a selfish act.

shelikedamango said:

YTA. It was NAH until you confessed down the line. Really, as other comments have said, you should have recused yourself from the investigation as you knew him and he helped get you the job. But you chose to partake and you chose to honour the document you signed…until you didn’t.

In what world was he ever going to laugh that off? He thought you were his best friend and then he found out his job was essentially on the line and in your hands and you didn’t warn him.

I understand why you didn’t at the time, but surely you can also understand how he would be hurt even if he understood your professional responsibility? did you even apologize when you told him or was it more of a “haha I can finally tell you this crazy story…?"

You could’ve recused yourself. you could’ve told him. you could’ve told him the second his name was clear. you could’ve taken it to the grave. You chose the 1 option that you thought would be a (pretty cowardly) win-win for you; keep it secret until it was water under the bridge...

...Only downfall was forgetting it’s not water under the bridge for your friend, it’s a fresh slap in the face. It’s also interesting that out of everything, your takeaway is to regret is telling him and question if HE ever valued YOUR friendship.

kepo242 said:

YTA. You brought this on yourself. It's called a confidential agreement for a reason. Even if it had expired, it was not your business to be talking about it, especially to someone who was involved in the case.

Sounds like you like drama or worse you were really foolish enough to think this was gonna end well. Either way Ryan decided that there is no benefit to being around you because you can't be trusted either way by him and your company.

Smooth_Security4607 said:

NTA for not telling him, that was part of your job and could get you in trouble legally. YTA for telling him about it later.

GurEnvironmental2318 said:

Nta for not telling during the investigation. But YTA for telling him after the fact. Once the investigation ended it should have died period! Should not have said anything after it was over.

Much-Leek-420 said:

NTA, but your company sure is. I'm assuming you told them you were good friends with Ryan at the beginning of the investigation? As such, they should have removed you from the investigation because any evidence you gathered could be challenged by a competent defense attorney in court as showing bias (for example showing favortism for Ryan and against the unnamed fraudster employee).