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Woman's fiancé furious when he learns her 'nephew' is actually her son. AITA?

Woman's fiancé furious when he learns her 'nephew' is actually her son. AITA?

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"AITA for not telling my fiancé that my nephew is my son?"

THawayRicePie

I'm using a throw away. My fiancé Tommy (29M) and I (29F) have been together, since we were both 18. We met in class in college, He is adored by my friends and family, and it is the other way around.

We are going to tie the knot in July of this year and had prepared everything. Before I was with Tommy. I had a child very young. My biological son is my nephew Brice (15M).

I knew I wasn't prepared to have a child. I was prepared to place him up for adoption. But instead my older brother Nyle (37M) and his wife Blair (36F) wanted to adopt him.

I accepted instantly, and was happy to see Brice grow up. That made our whole family very delighted. Brice knows I’m his biological mother, but he sees me as an aunt. Which I love and accept. We never talk about me being his biological mother.

The issue really started when Tommy and I came to visit and stay with my family for a few days. My mother (54F) and my younger brother Russell (24M) were the only ones there. Up until my two days at my mother's, everything was wonderful.

We woke up enjoying our morning meal, my mother had found our childhood family photo album. Just images of me and my sibling as babies and kids. Tommy and Russel were looking through the photos.

When Tommy stumbled upon a few pregnant photos of me. He obviously asked questions about the photos, but I really forgot about those photos. I was honest with him, that Brice was actually my biological son. Tommy looked startled before getting up and leaving. I did send him a text asking him to return, and he promised he would.

However, I discovered that he had driven home secretly, without telling me. I had to leave early, and Russell had to drive me back. Tommy did not say anything to me when I returned. He looked so vacant. I felt awful and held myself accountable.

I did ask “Why did you leave without telling me? I’m sorry I didn't tell you sooner.” Tommy said, "I can't trust you, you hid something so big from me. You hid such a huge secret about yourself. I can’t trust you. What else could you be lying about? What stuff have you told me that was even true?"

I told him "I never lied about anything else, but I should have told you. If you don't trust me, I get that.” He said to me, “Does Brice know? Who is his biological father? You are probably going to lie more, just to save your skin. I don’t need this right now.” He got up and packed.

He left to stay at a friend's place, I did beg him not to go. I guess he told his family. His mother called and told me she was very disappointed. Which crushed me badly. Our mutual friends, and my entire family is now furious with me. Even my best friend thinks it’s my fault. I feel bad for not telling now. AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

StonewallBrigade21

Tommy said, "I can't trust you, you hid something so big from me. You hid such a big information about yourself. I can’t trust you. What else could you be lying about? What stuff have you told me that was even true?”

YTA.

"I told him "I never lied about anything else"

I doubt it, and so does he.

"Even my best friend thinks it’s my fault."

Of course it is. Who else's fault would it be? By the way, you are getting married soon; you've been together for over a decade. You were never going to tell him.

"I feel bad for not telling now."

You do now (not before) because you got caught.

prismaticintellect

lol, they’re not going to get married.

StonewallBrigade21

Likely true. I meant she was "planning on getting married soon" and wasn't going to to tell him. The lie would have gone on forever if it were up to her. Luckily for him, he found out before getting married.

yourfriendthebadger

YTA. If my partner of ten years told me he had a child, even if said child was adopted and he had no current knowledge of them, I would be furious that he never told me. Let alone if that child was an active part of his family still.

Even if the dynamic is that you are the childs aunt and you have no parental feelings at all, that is a huge life event to never tell a partner you have been with for so long. Of course he thinks you are lying or hiding things from him.

z00k33per0304

It would also be jarring to think that you got involved when that child was 5, he watched this boy grow up and had NO idea that he was OPs bio son. I don't see why it would even be a shameful thing to admit out the gate it sounds like OP did the right thing by her son.

He probably feels like an idiot that he was the only one not "in" on the plot twist. I'm sure they've had conversations about kids while they were talking about marriage and at any point it could have been mentioned organically.

Even when things started getting serious initially I'm sure it came up as an eventuality..this whole ordeal was unnecessary and of course he feels betrayed. Even if you've never lied about anything else the entire relationship he'll never be able to reconcile that you left out mentioning an entire human being you gave birth to who he's met and interacted with.

mban4

YTA. I don't understand how you can be with someone for over a decade and hide such a huge secret from them. And you wouldn't have told him had he not stumbled upon those photos. If I were Tommy, this relationship would be over for me.

So, do you think the OP is the villian here? If you could give them any advice, what would you say?

Sources: Reddit
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