Pregnant woman hides baby name from sister who stole friend’s name last time. AITA?
"AITA for not telling my sister the name chosen for my unborn son because she used her BFF's baby name for her daughter?"
My sister and I are both pregnant. This is her second child and my first. We're both having boys. When my sister had her daughter three years ago her BFF was pregnant at the same time.
My sister complained for 8 months that they didn't have any idea what to name my niece and then all of a sudden she had a name right before she gave birth. After my niece was born and her name was announced, my sister and her BFF started fighting.
The BFF said that was the name she'd chosen for her baby girl and my sister used the same first and middle name for my niece and she couldn't believe she'd do that. My sister said it's first come first serve and she needed a name badly. That her BFF had time to find another name.
My sister is due before me, a few weeks before, and with that in mind I don't want her to do the same thing to me. And she has asked. Nobody knows we're having a boy except me and my husband and we plan to keep it that way. But my sister has asked what our boy name is and as an afterthought she asked for our girl name too when she realized I knew what she was getting at.
I refused to tell her. She tried to whine about name sharing being the fun part of pregnancy. I made up a couple of names on the spot to tell her and she saw through it. She told me to just tell her the name and I said no again.
She asked a few more times, she even asked in front of our family. It was our brother who joked that nobody should tell the baby name thief the name they've chosen. My sister got upset and asked if that's why I wouldn't tell her.
She told me I was holding something against her that she never did to me. Mom asked why I couldn't just share the name and everyone would know my husband and I chose it first if my sister used it but I still said no. AITA?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
The BFF should have gone right ahead and used the names she wanted. Since she was never going to speak to your sister again, it would make no difference.
I hope the bff dumped her as a friend. Don’t tell her the name or lie and make one up. See the tragedeigh page for suggestions.
Possible-Animal9339 (OP)
She didn't but their relationship isn't the same anymore. But it exists which it would not if I'd been the BFF. Especially for using it and then basically telling her BFF to find another name. EFF that.
I read a story where a woman had a sister in law do the same thing so they printed up a bogus name wall decal order form and when the SIL snooped she stole the whole name. The woman had bet her husband this so when the name was announced and she didn't get the reaction she wanted she was disappointed.
Nope. NTA. They’d all know she did it, but she’d have still done it.
Don’t tell anyone. Not until that kid’s name is on the birth certificate.
Not even a little bit. It's so obvious to me that your sister is trying to do the same thing again. Asking the same question but in front of your family after you already said you didn't want to say is a clear attempt to manipulate the situation and force it out of you.
There's no actual, tangible reason why you should be FORCED to share this info with her, especially with how unapologetic she was when it happened the first time around. Think about it: What's the worst that can happen if you don't tell her the name? She's unreasonably upset? She has to wait for the surprise like everyone else?
Now, what's the worst that can happen if you do? She steals the name again and you're either forced to change it last second like her best friend was or your son and nephew are stuck with the same, exact name.
I mean, she literally stole her best friends child's FIRST AND MIDDLE name, didn't leave her anything but the last name she already had, then didn't even try to deny it, just said you snooze you lose. She wants you to feel bad for not telling her, but clearly has no ability to show the same to others.
Possible-Animal9339 (OP)
This is all so true. Standing my ground will at least save the headache of being pressured to change the name when she decides to use it for her son.
Honestly if it were me I’d choose a name for her baby lol. Then after I gave birth I’ll give whatever name I picked and then tell her looks like I’ve named both babies! 😂😂
NTA. A lot of couples don’t share the chosen name, even without the risk of theft. It would also give away the sex of the baby.
So true. My daughter was having her third boy (our families live together) and said she wasn’t telling anyone the name. Now, I don’t go in her room unless the other bathroom is occupied or I’m babysitting her kids and need something. So, I babysat the older boys while she had the third baby.
After he was born, I was on the phone and said “Well, are you ever going to tell me his name or should I make up something to call him?” She laughed and said “It’s been on the wall above his crib for weeks. I figured you’d have seen it by now.” I guess I should be nosier than I am.
I genuinely adore that this illustrates how much you respect their space 💙💙💙
LMAO, I glanced at the name and didn’t think it was too bad, then read it again and did a spit take.
Tell her you want to make a game of announcing his name. You will start dropping clues next week. Then post a picture of something that could be a part of the first name. Continue to drop hints until baby is born. Then say you changed your mind.