'AITA for not telling my whole family about my success at Thanksgiving?'

"AITA for not telling my whole family about my success at Thanksgiving?"

I 19 (F) have been working towards Dental Hygiene as my degree. The program is extremely competitive. At my college, on average, 300 students apply every year. Only 30 students are given an interview, and 24 accepted. Two days before Thanksgiving I received an acceptance letter.

For some context I am a very reserved person. I prefer telling exciting or important information to my closest family and friends. If I feel am putting most if not all the work into the relationship, I keep them at arms length. My aunt has been dating her boyfriend for 3-4 years now.

My aunt is the host house for Thanksgiving and most other family events. The past 2 years her boyfriend's family has been apart of our Thanksgiving and other family events. I have tried getting to know them and grow relationships with them. They are a nice family, yet when talking to them I can tell they don't care to build a relationship with me or my immediate family, excluding my aunt of course.

Therefore recently I have stopped trying to talk to them at family events, when they enter the house they do not acknowledge me or my immediate family, and do not care to initiate conversation unless I do.

Fast forward to Thanksgiving day my mom, dad, brother, and boyfriend are the only people who know about my acceptance into the program. My aunt likes to go around the table and ask everyone what they're thankful for, she started with me even though I was not at the end of the table.

Feeling put on the spot and seeing my aunts boyfriends family, I froze up a bit because I did want to tell the news to my family, but not my aunt's boyfriend's family. I thought of something else to say, and we continued around the table. Later that night before my aunts boyfriend's family was about to leave...

I decided to finally tell my aunt as me and my boyfriend were on the our way out too to visit his family for Thanksgiving. She got extremely mad at me that I didn't tell everyone at the table earlier when she asked everyone what they're thankful for. She scolded me a bit about how I should've told everyone earlier.

She then announced to the whole house that I had been accepted. People came over to ask my about my acceptance which I did not mind at that point. But it is important to note that my aunt's boyfriend's family did not come over to ask about it.

Which I felt proved my point that it was not big deal not telling them in the first place, since they did not care to come over after my aunt announced it to the entire house. I understand it is exciting news and she may have been excited for me, but I didn't want everyone to know. Am I the Ahole for not telling the entire family about my success?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

Malyrtia said:

Congratulations! And no, NTA. It's up to you what you share and who you share it with, your aunt is overreacting.

1962Michael said:

NTA. Even without the particular dynamic of this gathering, it can be seen as self-centered to announce such an accomplishment when "giving thanks." Especially when you're the first to speak, because others won't have something of that magnitude to be "thankful" for.

So, your aunt was wrong. And she was wrong to scold you as well. It is 100% up to you to decide what you want to mention you are thankful for. However, in my opinion you could have avoided the situation by waiting a few days to tell your aunt and others.

amelia611 said:

NTA - you’re absolutely right it is your choice on who you share your news with and it does prove your point that you were right not to say anything before with the way they reacted. She cares too much about you not saying it earlier and instead of scolding you, your aunt should’ve been congratulating you.

Casual_Lore said:

NTA. You get to choose which information you are willing to share, no one else.

ImpossibleReason2204 said:

NTA. You get to tell who you want when you want. Having said that, you might be overthinking this. Your aunt's boyfriend's family is not required to be interested in having a relationship with you, there's no need to internalize that. Relax.

BlueRFR3100 said:

NTA. It's your news and you have every right to decide with whom you share it and when. No one else has any right to know anything.

PuzzleheadedData3023 said:

NTA. Your life is yours to share w/ who u choose to share it with. Aunt's feelings don't really matter about how and when u choose to share ur life updates. She is entitled to hurt feelings, but she's not entitled to anything beyond that.

TheDrunkScientist said:

NTA. It's YOUR news to share when and with whom you want.