'AITA for not wanting my 4-year-old daughter to join a soccer team?'
"AITA for not wanting my 4-year-old daughter to join a soccer team simply because I don’t want to get up early every Saturday?"
My husband has said he thinks I’m being selfish and I am. But I am being strategic here. I’m a mom of two 4 and under. Currently 5 months pregnant. I'm a kindergarten teacher and I have narcolepsy….so needless to say I’m tired all the time. Saturday is the one day in my week where there are no set plans and I like it that way.
Why do I need to ruin the one day I get to choose what I want to do, just so my 4 year old who probably won’t know what she is missing can go play a sport she probably isn’t ready to play anyway. She has years to pick up a hobby/extracurricular. I just don’t see the point right now other than to stress me out even more than I already am.
Point blank I’m just tired and don’t want to so I can’t even say it’s not selfish, but we are allowed to be selfish on some things and I feel justified because I’m at my personal capacity. My husband won’t even be able to help with every game because he sometimes works weekend so no I’m not interested in putting my kids in sports right now because I will likely flake on those days he works.
Also we live in a very hot state I have zero interest in spending more time outside than I have to. My husband’s reasoning is he wants her to be athletic and mostly that she will make friends and have fun socializing. I’d rather help her socialize through play dates not a weekly commitment to be on a team.
My in laws have made it clear they agree that it would be good for her and I’m being unfair. My family thinks it’s not that important right now at 4 but say she would have fun. So what do you think? AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
swiftiebookworm22 said:
If the in-laws think soccer is so important, they can volunteer to drive her to and from her games + practices. Problem solved! NTA.
Blue_wine_sloth said:
Your husband and in laws can take her if it means so much to them.
Ambitious_Client6545 said:
NTA. If your husband or in laws think it's that important, they can take her. I'm sure she'd have fun and it'd help her learn instruction and structured play, which is great! But she'll be better off having a mom who's as rested as possible with two small children and a pregnancy.
I have two under three and just being pregnant with one toddler was like living in zombie mode for 9 months. Can't imagine another one in the mix. Take care of yourself so that you can give your babies the best version of you.
Ok-Calligrapher1345 said:
Well if you have 2 kids, another on the way, AND your husband won't be able to take her to the games. I don't really see how you could possibly sign her up. NTA. If you can get grandparents to agree to help out that might be ideal, but if you don't have family support, 3 kids is gonna be rough.
Relatents said:
NTA for recognizing there are some ideas that work for you and your family and some that simply do not. Perhaps it would be helpful to change your approach. Tell husband you think it would be lovely for him to take her to soccer every Saturday.
For the Saturdays he isn’t available, the in-laws who think her attending soccer is so important would certainly be willing to take her? She can sleep over at their house on Friday night so they can head out together on Saturday.
DreamStater said:
NTA. You work full time. You have a 4 year old. You are pregnant. You have a serious health condition. You have an unhelpful but opinionated spouse and in-laws. When do you get to be a human being of equal worth with these people? NOW is when. No one is looking out for you here so you need to look out for yourself.
NOW. Prioritize your health, get the rest you need, set boundaries and hold them. Get some help. If you start treating yourself with love and respect, you might get some from everyone else, but no matter what, you will feel better. And as someone who has spend an enormous amount of time on youth sports, do not start them earlier than need be. 4 is too young.
Hansm84 said:
I too have a 4 year old. I too live in a hot state. I have sleep apnea and I too am always tired. I’m a guy so I can’t empathize with you on the pregnancy. My son wanted to play basketball, we signed him up. He isn’t ready for it and it’s 8 am on Saturday and we’ve had to flake multiple times. So unless your husband agrees to handle this EVERY week without relying on you, NTA.