"AITA for not wanting to babysit my sister's kids for free?"
My sister R (33) has 5 kids, 4 boys and 1 girls ranging from ages 5 to 15. She asked me and my partner to babysit four of the children for the night so she could go out for the night with her husband.
She offered us £120 for babysitting and I agreed to babysit as long as she pays us prior to me picking the kids up. She agreed with this and said she'd pay us the day before. The day before we were supposed to babysit she messaged us stating she no longer needed us to babysit as she couldn't afford to pay us. We said that's fine and thanks for letting us know and went on with our day.
I later get a message asking us if we can still babysit but this time for free. I said I'm sorry but I can't do that as I can't financially afford to look after her kids, even for 24 hours. We've babysat her kids before, and when they stay we notice a huge increase in our electric usage and we don't have enough food in to satisfy multiple children.
We always use enough electric for two people, not six. We always buy enough food for two people, not six. I tried explaining this to her, that any money she gives us for babysitting, a good amount goes on her kids. Right now me and my partners finical situation isn't the best, and I tried explaining this, that if we had more of an income I would of been a bit more willing to babysit.
Now I've said no to babysitting for free she has called me out saying I should do it for free because I'm family, that £120 is a ridiculous amount etc and she'll remember this when I next need a favor. I told her to look at getting a professional babysitter and see how much they'd charge and reconsider if £120 is a lot for 24 hours childcare. AITA?
Edit: I missed some information. When my sister goes out with her husband, this is to drink and club. She'll drink herself into a state and then return home in a state. This will include bringing people home with her to continue the party and illegal d**gs will be used.
This is why I cannot watch the children in their own home. Her eldest child is considered legally blind so cannot watch their siblings as well as it'd be crappy expecting them to watch all their siblings all night. I have been babysitting for her since I was 15 and it can be hell.
The electric situation, idk what other countries are like but in the UK we have pre payment meters. You put so much money on it and once you've used all that money, your power goes. Right now we have a day's worth of electric left and we don't get paid till next Friday.
With the kids staying they'd bring their games consoles which will up the usage massively. With food, we don't have a lot in, no snacks and enough to make meals for two, not 6. The kids eat like they've never been fed before and are incredibly fussy with what meals they will and won't eat. We can't afford to accommodate them.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Monokuromonkey wrote:
NTA wth is wrong with people calling you the ah. Your sister sounds entitled and honestly not like the best parenting example.You're allowed to love your niblings and still have boundaries regardless of the reason.
In this case it's financial but you have a right to say no even if it's just because you want the peace and quiet. Also it's not like it's an important unavoidable situation, I'd understand if not justify her desperation if it was for a medical out work related emergency, but she just wants to get lit jfc.
Rich_Technician_3393 wrote:
NTA. Babysitting four kids for 24 hours is real work, not a “family favour,” and £120 is actually cheap for that many children. You already explained that you literally can’t afford the electric, food, or extra costs that come with having six people in your home — and she knows your financial situation.
She cancelled because she couldn’t pay, then expected you to suddenly do it for free, and now she’s guilt-tripping you for having boundaries.
On top of that, she goes out drinking, brings people home, and uses drugs, so you can’t even safely babysit at her place. Her calling £120 “ridiculous” is laughable when a professional babysitter would charge far more. You’re not obligated to strain your budget because she wants a night out. Hold your boundary.
ColonelBelmont wrote:
NTA. Manipulative parents exploiting every relationship they have for free labor is nothing new. You have no obligation to be exploited. She should be glad you offered to do it at all.
Cold_Swordfish7763 wrote:
Oh hell to the NO! I refuse to watch people’s kids so they can go out and get drunk and high, but still have issues paying their bills. She choose to have those kids and needs to put them first.
OP responded:
Oh trust me, this post is just the tip of the iceberg with her 🙄
TechnicalNeck7407 wrote:
Because “FaMileeeeeeee…” Those words are poison. Those words are used to guilt family members and take advantage of you. And her swearing not to help you when you need a favor in the future is pure manipulation. You’ve already done her plenty of favors. Either the 15 year old babysits or she can hire a professional babysitter.
Also, if you think the kids are being neglected or endangered when she comes home off her face, or she is spending money for their needs on drugs and drink, don’t hesitate to anonymously call social services. It sounds like she is willing to put them in danger rather than spend £120 or more. You can always claim it was probably a neighbor who made the call.
RoyallyOakie wrote:
NTA...If she can't afford a babysitter, she can't afford to go out. They chose to have five children.