'AITA for not wanting to give any of my inheritance to my parents?' UPDATED

"AITA For Not Wanting To Give My Inheritance to My Parents?"

My grandfather passed away about a year and a half ago, and in the few years beforehand, he had quite a falling out with his children. There was a lot of infighting between them after my grandmother passed away a couple years before, and they argued a lot over money after this and what they thought they were inheriting from her vs what they actually did.

It got to the point where my grandfather modified his will to bipass his kids and leave his estate to his 14 grandchildren. So, now we are finally at the point where the inheritance is being paid out. I think at least some of the grandchildren, my brother and sister included, are conflicted about receiving this inheritance and feel that we are obligated to give at least some of it to our parents.

For some background, my parents are fairly well off, and both retired and collecting pensions. They just recently purchased a second home in Florida so they can do the snow bird thing. In other words, this is not money they need.

Meanwhile, we are all fairly early in our careers in a very uncertain time and to be honest giving away this nest egg seems pretty stupid. I also feel there isn't really a "right" amount to give and unless substantial it is just going to seem insulting. To my parents credit, at no point have they asked us to give them any portion of this cash.

So anyway, today my brother, who happened to also be executor and received a 6 figure commission on the inheritance (I think this is worth noting because as a result of the 14-way split he received substantially more than anyone else) reached out to ask us "what the plan is" to give my mom some sum of the money.

My sister has a heart of gold and would probably pony up the whole amount if asked. Myself, I feel like I should not feel too guilty if I kept all of it and put towards my own retirement. But, I am also aware greed can make people think some crazy ways, so I need some unbiased thoughts on this one. WIBTA if I said I wanted to keep my entire inheritance?

What do you think? AITA? This is what top commenters had to say:

Final_Commission4160 said:

NTA he wants your mom to have part of the inheritance he can give her his commission. BTW it seems ridiculous that from the sound of it the commission is as much as or more than the inheritance portion

HoneysucklePhony said:

NTA. Your grandfather intentionally left you the money and not your parents. This was his decision. He wanted you to have it, not them. Also, you said your parents aren't exactly destitute. It's not like you're leaving them to starve. Plus, maybe this is just me, but I don't think parents should take money from their kids.

FrostyDarkness said:

NTA. If your brother is so convinced your parents should have a share he can give up his commission

FurryTailedTreeRat said:

NTA, you’re brother would be the AH if he convinces your sister to cough up her inheritance. Your grandfather gave it to you and not his kids for a reason. It’s spitting on his memory to give the money to the people he intentionally he didn’t give it to.

LynnieFran said:

I think if your parents don’t need it and aren’t asking for it then you shouldn’t feel like an asshole for not giving any of it (and neither should your siblings). NTA.

Castyourspellswisely said:

INFO: your parents didn’t ask you for it, why would you feel obligated to give them some?

OP responded:

It's because they feel it is the "right thing to do" and don't feel our mother did anything to warrant being bypassed in the will. They feel she was owed this money and it is no fault of hers it came to us instead of her. I know I am under no legal obligation to give her anything but morally I am very conflicted and don't want to ruin relationships.

OP later shared this update:

For those who were wondering about my brother's commission, it seems legit. Basically he gets a certain amount of the total inheritance for executing the will, which is considerable. It just turns out he is getting so much more because of the inheritance being split so many ways while he still gets the full commission. Also, a lot of people made the point that I should just talk to my mom and ask what she wants.

I think that is probably a good way to proceed although I am not sure I will get a straight answer from her. A lot of people think I should choose this hill to die on. There is always the question of whether it is worth potentially alienating my family if my siblings proceed with giving the money and I do not including running the risk of being written out of my parents will also if they take it too harshly. I see it as a gamble.