'AITA for not wanting to give my MIL a garden in my backyard?' 'That's her plot of dirt until she passes.' AITA?
"AITA for not wanting to give my MIL a garden in my backyard?"
My MIL recently sold her giant house and moved into an apartment. Gardening is one of her hobbies. Maintaining my lawn and property is one of mine. There's a triangular section in my back yard about 10x10 feet with the long side of the triangle in the corner that I turned into a garden with a stone border for my wife a couple years ago.
I've always wanted it to be grass since she just lets weeds grow out of control in this "garden." My sons used to use it for digging with their toy trucks etc but they seem to have moved on.
We recently had a patio put in in place of our rotten deck and our back yard is really coming together. My wife got another 30'x5' strip against the house for gardening and 2 more the same size in the front of the house.
She asked me if she could let her mom have the corner garden as her own. I can see this garden from my back door and my patio. My answer was no I don't want to because I don't want to cede autonomy over part of my/our property. Not to her mom, or mine.
Once I say yes that's her plot of dirt until she passes away. It's not very different from allowing someone to decorate part of your house for the rest of your life. Her mom didn't ask her and has no idea so it's not like she's going to be upset. My wife thinks this is not being nice and robbing my my MIL of happiness.
I have spent my entire adult life becoming independent of my parents and hers as well. We've busted our as%es to afford our house and make it our own. So since I want to have 100% control of my own property and it's aesthetics, AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this:
YellowBeastJeep said:
NTA, but if you wanted to help your mil out, you could look up community gardens in her area for her…
coolcucumbers7 said:
NTA! This means MIL would be at your house at least every weekend to tend to her garden. I like my MIL but that would be a hard pass for me.
No_Tough3666 said:
NTA sounds like MIL needs to start a container garden outside her apartment.
lunar_adjacent said:
NTA. I don’t want my mom in my backyard every weekend and I especially don’t want my MIL back there.
NaturesVividPictures said:
NTA. I wouldn't do it especially since she loves gardening. She would probably want to move in so she could tend to it everyday.
Spinnerofyarn said:
NTA. MIL chose to sell her house and move into an apartment instead of a smaller house. I do not blame you for not wanting to give someone outside your household a permanent space on your property.