'AITA for not wanting to go to my MIL’s house for Thanksgiving?' 'I'm afraid of her cooking.'
"AITA for not wanting to go to my MIL’s house for Thanksgiving because I’m afraid of her cooking?"
I will preface this by saying that I am pregnant in the first trimester and am very sensitive to food right now. I can’t stand a lot of things and I’ve mostly been eating really plainly (which is abnormal for me). I’ve even been on anti nausea drugs because I have been SO SICK. My MIL wants us to drive out to the country to have thanksgiving with them this year.
I previously lived out of state and was able to avoid this. She is notorious for making some of the most godforsaken abominations of food concoctions that ever have existed. She doesn’t really practice food safety— she will take old leftovers and mix them with new things days later to make new meals.
Sometimes it’s old canned goods she ate half of a few days prior that she mixes with new canned goods and something else. Some of that food might have been sitting on the stove all day before being put into the fridge. She’s left soup out all night and reheated it in the morning. She doesn’t fully believe in expiration dates and that’s only part of it.
The things she cooks are not recipes— they are experiments. She once made a pie and added a whole tablespoon of nutmeg and decided to call it a pecan apple pie. It was inedible and so over seasoned that the texture was gritty. And what you’re going to get when she makes food is always a surprise.
She never makes things the same and always adds extra things in that don’t belong. She likes to bring desserts to family events and I have literally seen people take a bite, make a face, and throw the rest in the trash. My FIL isn’t much better and the last event we had— he served me spoiled shrimp.
I don’t think, being pregnant, that I can take being stuck in the country only being able to eat mystery food that might give me food poisoning. I might just cry. The drive is over two hours away, they’ll expect me to stay for a few days, and it’s quite a drive to get outside food. My only solution is to bring my own dish and only eat my dish. But I think that might be more insulting. AITA? And how do I get out of this?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
anothertypicalcmmnt said:
Why not say your pregnancy is making you feel too ill to travel and stay home? You won't be able to do that forever/every holiday, but at least you can put it off and hope someone else hosts next year, volunteer to cook yourself, or suggest potluck style so most of the food won't be made by her.
KrofftSurvivor said:
NTA - Don't go. Point out to your partner that you are barely managing on anti nausea drugs, and are simply not up for this type of travel, and let HIM handel telling his parents. You are pregnant, and your health and the baby's health comes first. And when it comes to dealing with with in-laws - the general rule is that their own child gets to be the one to handle telling them no.
They are his parents - he should know how to handle this - but if he throws you under the bus, this does not bode well for raising a child with him, and you may need to help him shine up his spine a bit.
Famous-Composer3112 said:
Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Her cooking sounds like my late mother's. Tell them you have severe morning sickness and cannot possibly attend. NTA...
GaleWhisper said:
NTA at all. Your health and baby's come first. Suggest potluck or stay home this year.
Opposite_Ad_5337 said:
Nta. Your health and your baby’s health are the most important thing right now. Politely decline using the severe morning sickness you’re having as the reason you can’t go.
Rowana133 said:
NTA. "Sorry, I can't be in the car for the drive and need to stay home and rest. I'm pregnant." Valid excuse, and if she throws a stink, oh well. You have to come up with excuses in the future, too, once baby is born, unless you want Grammy feeding baby day old stove soup or spoiled shrimp when your back is turned.