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'AITA for not wanting to host my friend’s wedding at my farm?' 'It’s straight out of Pinterest.'

'AITA for not wanting to host my friend’s wedding at my farm?' 'It’s straight out of Pinterest.'

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"AITA for not wanting to host my friend’s wedding at my farm?"

I own this small farm that I inherited from my grandparents. It’s a really beautiful place...rolling hills, a big red barn, a cozy little garden, and just lots of charm. I’ve always loved it, and people who visit always comment on how perfect it is for events like weddings or parties.

My friend Emma has been one of those people, and for years, she’s joked about how she’d get married here someday. I honestly thought it was just that, a joke. But a couple of months ago, Emma got engaged, and guess what? She asked if she could actually have her wedding at my farm.

At first, I thought it was sweet and said I’d think about it. I mean, it’s my friend’s wedding, and I didn’t want to be the bad guy who crushed her dream. But as we started talking about what she wanted, things kind of went off the rails.

Emma’s vision isn’t just some small, cute, backyard-style wedding. She’s planning this huge event with over 200 guests, a full catering service, live music, and, oh, a ton of décor. She wants the place to look like it’s straight out of Pinterest or a bridal magazine.

She also suggested making changes to the farm to “fit her vision.” And when I say changes, I don’t mean just moving a few chairs around. She wants to level part of the field to create space for a dance floor and parking, trim down some trees to improve the views, and even put down gravel paths so the venue will be wheelchair accessible for some of her guests.

When she told me all this, I was honestly shocked. Like, I get it’s her big day, but this is my home. The idea of turning my peaceful farm into a full-blown construction site just didn’t sit right with me. I told her I wasn’t comfortable with the modifications and suggested maybe having a smaller, simpler ceremony if she still wanted to use the space. I thought this was a reasonable compromise.

But Emma wasn’t happy. She said I was being selfish and ruining her dream wedding. She even implied that since I inherited the farm, I should feel lucky to have it and more willing to share it for something this important. That kinda stung, to be honest.

It’s not just about the changes to the property, though. Logistically, hosting a wedding this big would be a nightmare. My farm isn’t equipped for events like this. I’d need permits, extra insurance, a plan for parking, and a way to deal with the inevitable mess and damage that would follow.

And where would my animals go? I’d have to board them somewhere else for days, maybe weeks. It’s just too much. Emma keeps saying it would save her so much money compared to renting a proper venue, and as her friend, I should be happy to help. But it feels like she’s asking way more than what’s reasonable.

I don’t want to spend months fixing my property or stressing about legal stuff because of someone else’s wedding. I feel a lil guilty, but at the same time, I think Emma’s asking for way too much. Am I the ahole for saying no to hosting her wedding?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

gastropod43 said:

NTA. She doesn't want your farm. She wants a wedding venue.

lookingformiles said:

NTA. She’s indeed asking for waaaaaaay too much.

DollfaceBabeStar

NTA. Your farm, your rules. Emma's demands are too much.

I_wanna_be_anemone said:

NTA Tell her you’re not risking the welfare of your animals for a one day event. You are living on a working farm not a wedding venue. Any animals can become seriously injured during transport, a lot become extremely distressed in new environments. Your "friend" is being selfish.

Ok_Childhood_9774 said:

You have a small working farm. Not a wedding venue. Emma needs to find a place that's both if that's her "vision," and your place isn't it. NTA.

Flaky-Ad-3265 said:

NTA, so to save some money Emma wants you to spend thousands and thousands of dollars of your own money to completely redo your property? She’s completely ridiculous and I hope you cut this toxic tumor of woman out of your life. If she can’t afford a big wedding, then she shouldn’t be having one.

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