'AITA for not wanting to move at roommate's request when they aren't offering to help financially?'
"AITA for not wanting to move at roommates request when they aren't offering to help financially?"
The gist of the situation is that I live in a college town currently going to university and I have three roommates that I rent out a house together through a leasing office. These roommates were already close with one another and I was a bit of an outsider.
They have a fourth friend they want to move in with them next year, and requested that I be the one to move out since logistically it's more difficult for three people to handle that furniture difference, etc.
For some background:
- It was a randomly assigned housing unit. Aside from me selecting a particular room that I wanted, which I paid and am paying extra for to get this particular room, the roommates were randomly assigned by the leasing office.
- I don't really interact with them at all, aside from passing by them through the house on occasion. I travel a lot for work and competitions, so some months I'm only there half the time. All-in-all, I'm the kind of roommate that's a "ghost" that minds his own business.
- On the other end, two are in frats and one throws parties at this house often till 5 AM with a boombox blasting music through my door.
Now, the conflict at hand is that it'd cost me quite a bit financially to cover moving expenses, storage and transportation, and I'd have to find a place to live temporarily along with my things between move out and move in dates.
There's also fees written into my contract that make it expensive to move buildings or units in the area, but they said it can be potentially waived. My roommates only offer to help move my things, but have very blatantly ignored any notion of me mentioning the expense that it'd toll on me to handle all of this and continue to talk about how difficult it'd be for them to move all 3 of their furniture and things.
They also bought some furniture from the prior tenant they bring up as a difficulty to move and that since they already bought it, it gives them greater claim. I offered to buy that furniture if needed, but that was also ignored. Now, I acknowledge it's more difficult to move 3 than to move 1, but the difference is that these 3 all have family homes within 2~ hours driving distance and rooms at home.
My family is out-of-state nearly across the country and I'm fully moved out, with all of my belongings. Along with that, I'm currently covering all of my finances, be it rent, tuition, student loans, groceries, etc. on my own, but the other 3 get weekly grocery deliveries from their families and come from very well-off financial backgrounds with support from their families.
This is why I believe it to be more difficult for me to eat these costs just so they can move in their friend, when they're all extremely wealthy driving luxury vehicles and coupes. One of them even mentioned that it'd be difficult to move his boat which has been sat in the garage for months since his trailer his broken. Honestly, I don't see how that's my problem? My lease is already renewed for next year.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
sweadle wrote:
NTA. Be clear. "I can't afford to move, so unless you are both willing to cover all costs, I am staying here. But you guys are welcome to move and I'll find new roommates."
Don't get hostile. Act like you TOTALLY would, if you could afford it. Agree that is sucks. But you just don't have the money.
Repeat every single time they bring it up. Act bummed, and when they say they don't have the money to pay you, just complain that it sucks that moving is so expensive. Act like you're all on the same team: you three against the money problem! Bummer! I hate money problems!
OP responded:
I like this angle of approach with how to say it, thanks! It's also a bit funny sounding but honestly is probably the best way to avoid a direct conflict.
Rabbe wrote:
NTA. But, they sound like people who are gonna try to push you out, by making it one miserable year for you. Is it worth it in the end?
OP responded:
While driving home today I was considering that retaliation to make me want to move out was a possibility. I've definitely dealt with worse roommates, last two years I've had at least one extremely bigoted roomie, so I am wondering if I'd be able to handle it since these ones aren't--just rich party kids. It's just financially it's extremely difficult for me, so suffering might be worth the money?
equivalent_double_23 wrote:
NTA. Can you talk to your landlord?
OP responded:
I plan to tomorrow, but I honestly don't know what to really say? I told my roommates I'd look into the move out process but to not expect anything from it, and that was just to get them off my back for a bit since they kept brushing past my refusals. Do you have advice on what I'd say to my landlord other than, "They wanna live with a different guy, I wanna live hear?"
morgaine125 wrote:
INFO: Do you really want to spend the next year with people who hate and resent you?
OP responded:
I'd only need to spend the next 7 months with them, since if they really really want this friend of theirs, they can be the ones to move out to a nearby building for next year--but it's that consideration of making them move out that does make me feel bad a tinge.
If they still renew the lease for this building anyway, financially speaking--it's too difficult for me to do so, so suffering a bit might be worth it just cause I can't pay for all that.
I'm not around too often anyway, I treat it as a place to rest and sleep since I travel so much / do a lot around campus. I've had a past roomie who despised me for my race and another in the past who hated me for my religious views, so they can't be tooooo much worse than that?
No-Sea1173 wrote:
NTA. You'd be doing them a favour, it makes no sense for you to be footing the bill. You can just ignore their requests and continue with your life without moving. Having said that - are they vindictive enough to give you a hard time if you stay?