'AITA for not wanting to repay my in-laws for our wedding?' 'I hit a big sports bet.'

"AITA for not wanting to repay my in-laws for our wedding?"

So my wife and I got really lucky recently—I hit a big sports bet. I don't usually gamble, but I decided to try my luck, and wow, did it pay off. Naturally, we were pretty excited and shared the good news with our close family.

My wife told her parents about our windfall, and now they're all over us, insisting we pay them back for our wedding that they funded two years ago, which cost around $100k.

Here's the thing, when they offered to pay for the wedding, they never mentioned it being a loan. We thought it was a generous gift, no strings attached. We appreciated it immensely, of course, but there was never any talk of paying it back.

Now, out of nowhere, they’re saying it was an “unspoken agreement” that we’d repay them if we ever came into money. This has turned into a massive point of contention.

My wife feels guilty and thinks we should consider their request, but I’m not so sure. We had no clue about this supposed deal, and we’ve been managing fine without needing to rely on them for financial help otherwise.

It feels a bit unfair to suddenly be saddled with this expectation. Plus, we had other plans for the money that would benefit our immediate family. So, am I the ahole for wanting to stick to the original understanding that the wedding was a gift?

Or should we feel obligated to pay them back now that we’ve come into some money? I'm torn between wanting to honor their support and feeling blindsided by this sudden change in expectations.

We need some outside perspectives on whether their demand is reasonable or if we’re right to feel like this wasn’t part of the deal.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Schmed_lap said:

This is why you never tell people when you have a big windfall.

Tishers said:

NTA. But what kind of fool spends $100K on a wedding?

Cute_Wingss said:

Your in-laws' request feels manipulative since they never mentioned that the wedding funding was a loan. If they had any expectations for repayment, they should have been transparent from the beginning.

You're right to feel blindsided by this sudden change in expectations. It's important to prioritize the financial plans you made for your immediate family based on the understanding that the wedding expenses were a gift.

throwawayanon387 said:

NTA. They feel entitled to your winnings because they are out of a lot of cash due to finding your wedding. If they really wanted any of that back, they would have at least mentioned it prior.

At this point, the only way they can get their hands on it, is if you offer it to them. So don’t. If they were uncomfortable spending that kind of money on a wedding they should have never offered to begin with.

I also just want to say, clearly they don’t even need the help if they had more than enough to share when you got married. I always find it weird when older people (specifically parents), demand money back from their children that they offered to give away, that they really don’t even need.

Like, wouldn’t you be so much happier knowing your newly wed daughter and son-in-law are setting themselves and their future family up for financial success? Instead of just wanting money back in their pockets because they’re spiteful that they helped you out so much, and then you ended up with more free money anyways lol.

camkats said:

YTA for telling anyone about your luck. You will probably have to give them some so consider it a lesson learned.

tsunamisurfer35 said:

The first rule of coming into money in a large sum quickly. STFU. Yes, you lose the ability to brag about it, but it is safer.