'AITA for not wanting to attend my cousin’s wedding after she sabotaged my career?'
"AITA for not wanting to attend my cousin’s wedding after she sabotaged my career?"
Two years ago, I (28F) was working at a company where I had been steadily climbing the ladder for years. My cousin, "Sarah" (30F), got a job at the same company, and I was excited to help her get settled. We had always been close growing up, so it felt natural to support her.
However, things quickly took a turn for the worse. A few months after Sarah started working there, rumors began to circulate that I was having an affair with our married boss.
At first, I brushed it off as typical workplace gossip, but it escalated quickly. My boss’s wife even confronted me, and HR got involved. Despite my protests of innocence, the situation became unbearable, and I was eventually fired due to "company image concerns."
I was devastated. I lost my job, my reputation was in shambles, and I felt utterly betrayed. A few weeks after I was let go, I discovered through a mutual friend that Sarah was the one who had started the rumor.
She was apparently jealous of the recognition I was getting at work and decided to spread lies to bring me down. When I confronted her, she denied everything at first, but eventually admitted it, saying she "didn't think it would go that far." Needless to say, our relationship completely broke down after that. I’ve had no contact with her since.
Now, Sarah is getting married, and our family expects me to attend the wedding. My parents are pressuring me, saying that “family is family” and that I should let bygones be bygones.
They argue that it’s her special day, and I shouldn’t let old grudges ruin it. However, I still harbor a lot of resentment toward Sarah, and the idea of pretending that everything is fine for a day feels impossible to me. I told my parents I don’t want to go, and they’re calling me selfish and unforgiving.
They say it’s been two years, and I should have moved on by now. But I can’t forget that Sarah’s actions led to me losing my job and nearly wrecked my life. So, AITA for not wanting to attend my cousin’s wedding after she sabotaged my career and got me fired?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
SmaugTheHedgehog
NTA. I’d say tell your parents that you will consider going only if she has quit that job, personally apologized to me, and active/real apology that fully acknowledges what she did and the harm that it caused you.
Make a massive public apology, including on social media, where she admits that she lied because she was jealous of your recognition for your work, how she wanted to bring you down.
All of your coworkers, your boss, the company itself, everyone, needs to be tagged or personally contacted to tell them the truth about what happened. It won’t bring your job back but it will at least help to clear your reputation.
She needs to repay any and all bills you might have struggled to cover while out of a job due to her maliciousness (eg if you were out of work for a month, she needs to pay your student loan/rent/utilities/food/etc bills for that month).
Then, if and only if she has done the above … I would still probably not attend because I don’t attend the weddings of backstabbing liars who actively tried to ruin my life. And personally, I’d be struggling with my parents if they continued to side with a person who tried to hurt me so bad.
Squibit314
And personally apologize to HR, the boss and his wife.
littlelivbug_
Which wouldn't be near enough to the emotional and psychological stress she's caused, but yes a fair start!
Sweet-Sleep3004
Does Sarah still work at that company and does her fiance know what type of woman she is. Seen I'd be telling her fiance and be not attending. If family is family why on earth did Sarah go and ruin your carer and not speak up to the company. She is a snake and deserves not one drop of your time or compassion.
Apprehensive_War9612
NTA Hire man to tell her fiancé that she’s cheating on him.
WiseConsequence4005
NTA but I would have sued her.
Ok_Structure4685
NTA, and to be honest, I would talk to the boyfriend's family and tell them, 'My cousin had, and as far as I know, still has, an affair with her married boss, and to keep it a secret, she said it was me.' And if she says anything, 'I'm sorry, I didn't think that spreading a little rumor could cause you problems, but family is family.'"
CloserAnalysis
YTA if you don't sabotage her wedding.
DivineTarot
NTA. Sarah merely admitted complicity, but it doesn't sound like she either apologized or tried to clear things up. She put in zero effort into mending fences, which is what she should have done baseline, but especially if "family is family." However, since she didn't, clearly her wedding isn't worth going to just so you have to fake liking the bride.
Frankly, though I don't recommend this, I wouldn't even consider you the asshole if you spread roomers of infidelity on her part or spilled something on her dress. She ruined your career which has a lasting effect, meanwhile a wedding is just one day after all.
Bonnm42
NTA I’m curious where their philosophy of “family is family” was when your cousin got you fired out of jealousy.
boundaries4546
I think you should make a nice big post on social media tagging everyone, and explaining what happened. If your cousin wasn’t family would you still be expected to forgive that behaviour? Why should Sarah get a free pass when she is massive garbage.