'AITA for refusing to hang out with my roommate's GF even if it might cause them to break up?' UPDATED

"AITA for not wanting to hangout with my roommate's GF even if it might cause them to break up?"

I 22F have been living with my friend "Kyle" 23m for the last 6 months. When I moved in it was meant to be a temporary thing. Something happened at my last apartment which meant I couldn't live there anymore but because I couldn't get out of my lease (I had 3 months left) Kyle let me stay with him for free because I couldn't afford to pay rent at 2 places at once.

When my lease was about to end I started apartment hunting and showed Kyle the apartments I was looking at. He was surprised at the fact I was looking at tiny studio apartments in a bad neighborhood. I told him that these where the only places I could afford. At this point he told me to stop looking for a new place and that I could stay with him and at least be in a save location.

Since then I've asked multiple times how much rent he wants me to pay to continue living here but he always brushes me off. So I'm still not paying rent. For context Kyle comes from a very wealthy family and he has a very different view about money. He got given the house we live in and he has a trust fund that pays for all of his expenses.

I feel weird about not paying so I tried to pay for other household stuff but Kyle doesn't let me. So he also pays for a lot of my expenses. A couple of weeks ago Kyle introduced me to Ava. He's never introduced any the girls he went out with so I think he must really likes her. The weird thing is he keeps pushing us to hang out 1 on 1.

Like he'll tell us to go out shopping together or he'll leave us alone in the living room to "have girl time". At first Ava seemed nice enough but every time we talk she keeps dropping these weird hints/remarks my relationship with Kyle and how weird it is that he pays for everything. She also keeps trying to set me up with her guy friends even after I told her that I'm not interested.

I've tried to reassure her that me and Kyle are just friends and that I'm happy he's found a girl he's serious about but she just told me that if I truly wanted their relationship to succeed I would move out and "leave Kyle alone". She also said that I'm selfish for standing in the way of Kyle's happiness and that I'm guilting him into taking care of me.

Since this conversation I've refused to hang out with Ava anymore and Kyle seems really sad that I'm not friends with her. I haven't told Kyle anything bad about Ava just that me and her don't click and that he needs to stop pushing. Now he's not inviting her over to the house as much it's because I'm not friends with her. So AITA for potentially ruining my roommates relationship?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Mad_Props_ said:

Sounds like Ava is jealous and Kyle thinks forcing a friendship will make it go away. Meanwhile she’s trying to set you up with someone so you’re no longer a “threat.” They’re both manipulating the situation instead of addressing the actual issue, which is should he be living with and financially supporting another woman while dating Ava? NTA but don’t be surprised if you end up needing a new place to live.

sillykn said:

You're not an @$$hole for not wanting to be friends with someone but you are putting Kyle in a difficult situation. Also you not telling Kyle about the things Ava has been saying and doing might not be the best choice. She's showing you her true colors and she doesn't seem like a nice person.

[deleted] said:

Just tell the truth, hiding this serves nobody, not even Ava. This kind of controlling behavior will only ever escalate and chances are this isn't the only way she's trying to control Kyle and who hangs out with and she needs to have the realization that this type of behavior will only ever cause friction in her relationships and needs to get that under control.

And ExpensivePoop said:

Homie deserves to know. Tell the homie.

She later shared this update:

Based on the advice of the comments here I was planning to tell Kyle what Ava has been saying. Well Kyle came home and before I could tell him he asked ME if he could talk to me about Ava. He started asking me if me and Ava ever had "any serious conversations" and if I "gained some insight" thanks to what Ava and my conversations.

At that point I asked him "did you ask Ava to talk to me about this?". He said "yeah I thought it would be easier for you to talk to her about this". I got upset and told him "if you want me to move out you can just tell me I wouldn't be mad but I think its weird you sent your girlfriend to give my try and convince me to move out."

He was confused and asked me what I talking about and I told him that the only "serious thing" she ever talked to me about was that I should move out. He then said "that's not what I asked her to talk to you about". After that he kept asking what else we talked about and what else she told me. So I basically told him about all of the snide comments he was making.

He got really quite after I finished and said I never asked her to say any of that with you. I asked her to talk to you about "the thing at the old apartment". I didn't clarify in my original post but the reason I couldn't stay at my old apartment was because someone broke in and attacked me.

After the attack I couldn't bear the thought of returning to that place or sleeping in that bed. Kyle was the person I called from the hospital to come pick me up and he is one of the only people who knows what happened.

Apparently Ava had something similar happened to her and when he found that out he asked her about my incident and if she could talk to me. She's apparently been telling him about all of these "deep conversations" we've been having and how we've "bonded over our shared trauma."

She been giving him advice based on what I've shared during these supposed conversations. Like that he should never ask me about these conversation or the incident and that should start living alone again and "face my fear" of my old apartment.

I told him these conversations never happened and that I didn't even know Ava knew about what happened to me. Now I've come to my room and I'm typing this all out to make sense of it.