'AITA for not wanting to move Thanksgiving dinner to 6 PM so my sister's husband can work?'

"AITA for not wanting to move Thanksgiving dinner to 6pm because my sister wants her husband to work holidays?"

So my family has always done Thanksgiving dinner at 2pm. Literally every year. We eat, hang out, go for a walk, take a nap, and then later in the evening we do leftover round two. It’s our thing and everyone looks forward to it.

My sister (27) is super obsessed with money. Like… to the point where she makes her husband work every holiday for the time-and-a-half pay. They’re not struggling financially, no kids, rent controlled apartment, nothing major draining them. They make more than enough money to be comfortable.

This year, her husband is working a later shift and won’t be off until after 6pm. She asked if we could push Thanksgiving back so we could eat when he gets home. A few family members said that’s not the plan and everything’s already prepped around the usual schedule.

I tried to compromise and said we could eat at 2 like normal and then eat again at 6 when he gets there. First she says “It’s fine, we can eat without him,” and then a few minutes later she suddenly goes: “You guys are honestly pretty messed up for that.”

Which honestly confused me because she’s the one who wants him working all the holidays. If it meant that much to have him at dinner, maybe don’t sign him up to work Thanksgiving, you know?

My husband says we’re being too rigid on the schedule and we should just wait for her husband. I message in the group chat that maybe we can just wait to start eating at 6pm but she responds with “No don’t worry about it. Do whatever you guys want.”

Now I can’t tell if I should accommodate her or if she’s just being dramatic because things didn’t go exactly the way she wanted. So… AITA here?

This is what people had to say to OP:

t-mckeldin said:

NTAH, you invited her to an event. If she didn't like the event she could have declined the invitation.

WhimsicalWanderer9 said:

So she's making her husband work for the overtime but now wants everyone else to accommodate that choice? That's some impressive mental gymnastics right there.

Gold-Library6013 said:

NTA. We delay our meal because of my brother-in-law, but everyone agrees to do that. Also, he never asked us to--we decided to do this on our own. Making demands that damage everyone else's day is selfish. Dude can have his first meal while all of you go for round two. Maybe she should work some holidays.

Key_Two77 said:

The time has always been at 2:00. Her husband will be there for plenty of leftovers.

Two things: -if she's so obsessed with money, then why isn't she working on Thanksgiving? -why does her husband tolerate being forced to work on a holiday instead of spending time with family? Why doesn't he say no!

Regardless, you all shouldn't have to move a family tradition and make everyone else wait for your sisters change of plans. NTA

OP responded:

They have a bit of an unbalanced relationship. He lives to make her happy

jrm1102 said:

Can you elaborate on how he’s being “made to work”? Did she SAY this or did you assume this? How do you know?

And OP responded:

When we’re planning a holiday outing and she says things like “No Micah, you’re working that holiday.”