'AITA for Not Wanting to Pay Child Support After My Wife Cheated with My Older Brother?'
"AITA for Not Wanting to Pay Child Support After My Wife Cheated with My Older Brother?"
Hoopize
I never thought my life would end up like this, but here we are. I’ve been married to my wife for five years. After we tied the knot, I didn’t really keep in touch with my family much. It wasn’t intentional; we just drifted apart. My wife and I were focused on building our own lives, and that’s what mattered to me.
A few months ago, my world came crashing down. I found out my wife had been having an affair with my older brother. The betrayal was like a punch to the gut. I didn’t even know how to process it — everything I thought was solid in my life was suddenly shattered.
But it got worse. When I told my mom what happened, she didn’t react the way I expected. Instead of supporting me, she took my brother’s side. She actually told me to "get over it" and said that "this is just how life is sometimes." Hearing that from my own mother was like salt in the wound. Since then, I’ve cut contact with my brother and haven’t spoken to my mom much either.
Now, my wife — or soon-to-be ex-wife — has come to me with another bombshell: she’s pregnant and says the baby is mine. Here’s the thing — I can’t even be sure. We were still being intimate even as things started falling apart between us, so it’s possible. But after everything she’s done, I don’t know what to believe anymore.
She’s already talking about how I’ll need to pay child support, saying that I have no choice if the baby is mine. I’m not stupid; I know what my legal responsibilities are. But I can’t bring myself to just accept this without knowing for sure. I want a paternity test before I commit to anything.
But even if the baby is mine, part of me feels like it’s so unfair that I’m stuck supporting someone who betrayed me in the worst way possible. My mom says I need to "be a man" and just move on, but I’m really struggling with this. How can I be expected to just accept all of this like it’s no big deal?
So, AITA for wanting to confirm that the baby is actually mine before agreeing to pay child support? And even if it is mine, would I be wrong for feeling like I shouldn’t have to be tied to her forever after what she did?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Creepy-Project38
You need to confirm that the child is indeed yours because of the events circulating around your ex pregnancy, however, if it is yours, then you need to pay the child support & also don't hold grudges against your kid, it's your kid after all, & your kid has nothing to do with the bad decisions people around you have made. You not the a-hole here, unless you don't pay the child support.
EliseCowry
I'd start the procedures for paternity test immediately and and start talking to a lawyer about what you should be doing and not doing. I know Everything's hurting but you're gonna hurt a lot more In the pocket on top of your mental turmoil if you do not Talk to a lawyer and get things rolling.
LakeGlen4287
NTA. Get the paternity test before agreeing to pay child support. If it is yours, you are tied to this woman for at least the next 20 years, but only as the mother of your child, you are free to divorce and date/marry someone else. Your mother just wants this grandchild, she doesn't care which of her sons gave it to her.
New_Nobody9492
Get the paternity test and when going through the divorce ask your lawyer to take in both of their incomes for the calculation of child support and go for 50-50 custody…. If you make around the same amount of money, you won’t pay child support. Get smart, not emotional.
Lovebug-1055
Get the divorce first, then go with her to the doctor to prove she’s pregnant, then have the tests done to determine paternity. First things first before making any decisions. Personally I wouldn’t even talk to her about anything until after the baby is born. Get started now on your new life and say goodbye to Mom, your brother and your ex. Good luck.
No_Performance8733
Talk to a lawyer. Immediately. Stop talking to all of these people. Get professional support- legal, therapy, consider an antidepressant like zoloft if it gets really bad. Stop talking to all of these people. Your (soon to be ex) wife can communicate with your lawyer once you have one.
You can get a paternity test now, science has improved. She might not really be pregnant, the baby is most likely not yours, if it is yours you might be able to relinquish your paternal rights. Basically, you need to cut yourself off from these people entirely and take care of yourself. They don’t have your best interests at heart.