"AITA for refusing to pay my girlfriend rent?"

So I (28M) moved in with my girlfriend (23F) three months ago, we’ve been together for seven months, it’ll be eight just after Christmas. We moved in together so quickly because my lease was ending and we knew we didn’t want to want a whole year to move in together.

Before moving in she told me my share was $400 a month plus half of utilities and half groceries. Which I happily paid, but we’ve had several arguments along the way. I don’t know the total of her mortgage but it was a slum before she did renovations so I imagine it was pretty cheap.

Firstly, she was upset with me not doing chores. I don’t see a problem with the house getting a little messy, but she told me to help out or pay an extra $100 a month to cover her time of “playing maid."

I paid the extra $100 and that was that. Though I find it ridiculous that she expects the place to be clean all the time and I could’ve put that money to use in many better ways. It’s not like I’m a slob but she doesn’t like dishes left in the sink, she expects them to be immediately washed or put in the dishwasher. She wants things cleaned as they happen so it feels like there’s no relaxing.

Then I wanted to get a dog. My girlfriend already has a dog of her own, one of the small breeds, he’s 14 so he’s not very playful or energetic, just a boring guy. I found a puppy I fell in love with, she was a purebred english mastiff and gorgeous.

I told my girlfriend and she flat out said no, that she didn’t want another dog in the house bothering hers and she definitely didn’t want a puppy to ruin her newly remodeled house. I thought a nice compromise would be a cat, and she claimed she’s allergic but she’s never mentioned any allergies before.

So there’s yet another thing I get no say in. It’s not like her dog is going to be around much longer, we could just keep the puppy separate from him until then. I’m sure after her dog passes she would find another excuse to not let me get a dog.

Finally I found out she owns the house. I had been under the impression she was renting, but she is instead paying a mortgage. I discovered this when I was checking the mail and found a reminder from her bank. When I confronted her she claimed she thought I knew because we were together when she was remodeling.

I told her it was ridiculous for me to pay her rent when it’s her house, and this lead to a long and heated argument. I asked to be put on the title since I was helping her pay for it and she snickered and told me no. I told her I wouldn’t be paying anymore, she asked if I wanted help packing or if I could handle it myself. I asked her what she meant and she said I can help pay or I can find elsewhere to live.

I asked if our relationship was over and she said we could continue to pursue it without living together. Naturally I flipped out because if we can’t live together then we have no future together. She doesn’t seem to care and told me she expects me out by the end of the week. She locks me out of our bedroom so I’m stuck on the couch, she sits boxes and bags with my belongings in the hall every so often.

When I called my mom she told me I was being ridiculous and a “brat” but I feel like that might be because she doesn’t want me to move back home as the lease I had at my apartment ended when I moved in with my girlfriend so I think I need some outside perspective. As of now our relationship has ended, and my belongings are outside while i’m staying in a motel but I am open to trying to recover our relationship.

I’ve edited to add some clarification and elaboration to show I’m not a pos. We might not be compatible or maybe we’re both the problem, I don’t know. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

McNallyJoJo34 said:

YTA why would she put you on the title after such a short time? Did you pay any of the down payment? Nope! And $400 a month is dirt cheap, you won’t find a place to rent for that so I don’t know why you’re complaining. Why should she let you live there for free?

writing_mm_romance said:

Dude YTA and you're an insufferable brat! A relationship is a partnership, just because she owns the house doesn't mean you can be a mooch. You're 28 years old and acting like a teenager...grow up, step up, and man up.

boicrazy_crazyboi said:

YTA, absolutely! You sound like a teenager and expect her to play mommy. Your own mother sounds tired of your bs, as she should be. Grow up, OP!

SettingAny4836 said:

YTA. What in your right mind thinks you’re entitled to being on the lease???? You should be thankful she is only charging you $400 for rent and a $100 cleaning fee. You sound very entitled. No one owes you anything.

And FrogFriendRibbit responded:

Not the lease. The TITLE. Which means he'd have partial ownership, without being on the mortgage/having any financial obligation. Man wants to co-own her home after living there for 3 months, less than a year into a relationship, because he feels his $400 a month (which wouldn't rent a room in a house full of strangers most places) is "buying her a house".

Trick_Delivery4609 said:

YTA . $500 is a steal for rent in ANY area. You should be cleaning up after yourself. Why the heck are you guys moving in together that quickly?? You don't sound compatible anyways and now you need to find a new place.

OP responded:

My lease was ending so it was either move in together or wait an extra year to do so. We have a lot in common, she’s just high strung and I’m laid back

ArtemisRises19 said:

Curious how he discerned she has a mortgage just looking at a piece of mail without opening it, but regardless - She’s paying a mortgage, pay your fair share. Why do you expect her to provide you with a free place to live, clean up after you, etc?

If you feel some type of way because she’s building equity while housing you and cleaning up after you, move out and get your own place where you can be as messy as you like, have a Mastiff, etc.

And OP responded:

I opened it. I opened all the mail and would put bills and the like together and throw out the junk.

I’m not on the mortgage, why should I basically be buying her a house?

orpheushero said:

So you opened her mail. You're a prick.

And OP responded:

She didn’t have a problem with it.

*Commence world's biggest eye roll*