Someecards Logo
ADVERTISING
BF refuses to pay for GF after she buys herself surprise ticket to join annual 'guys-only' trip. AITA?

BF refuses to pay for GF after she buys herself surprise ticket to join annual 'guys-only' trip. AITA?

ADVERTISING

"AITA for not wanting to split the cost of a vacation with my girlfriend because I didn’t invite her?"

I (31M) have been dating my girlfriend, "Emily" (27F), for about a year. Things have been going really well, and we've been talking about taking a trip together at some point. However, this situation got a little messy, and now I'm wondering if I'm in the wrong.

A few weeks ago, I started planning a trip with some old college buddies. It’s kind of a tradition for us to get together every couple of years, and this time, we decided on a destination abroad.

We’re splitting costs for accommodations, food, and activities. I didn’t invite Emily because this trip was already established as a guys-only thing, and I assumed she’d understand. When I told Emily about the trip, she seemed a bit hurt but said she understood and hoped I’d have fun.

Fast forward to last week, and Emily surprised me by telling me she booked tickets to join me on the trip. She said she figured she could do her own thing during the day while I hung out with my friends and we could spend the evenings together.

I was caught off guard and told her that wasn’t really the plan. She said she didn’t mind and wanted to be there since we’ve been talking about traveling together. Then she asked if I could split the cost of her accommodations since “we’d both benefit from her being there.”

Here’s where I might be the AH: I told her I wasn’t comfortable splitting costs because (1) I didn’t invite her, (2) this trip was never supposed to include her, and (3) I don’t think it’s fair for me to pay for something I didn’t agree to.

She got upset and said she thought I’d be happy she wanted to join and accused me of being dismissive of her feelings. She’s been distant since then, and now I’m questioning if I was too harsh or inconsiderate.

I love Emily and enjoy spending time with her, but this trip was planned as something separate. So, AITA for not wanting to split costs for a vacation my girlfriend invited herself on?

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

NTA. Well, isn't little Miss Emily quite the entitled one? She "accused me of being dismissive of her feelings." Trying to use emotional blackmail to get what she wants. She wants you to spend evenings with her ON A GUYS' TRIP? Does she know what a guys' trip entails? Advice: Tell her she can go or not go, but you will NOT be spending any time with her. She will have to entertain herself.

"this trip was already established as a guys-only thing, and I assumed she’d understand."

See, this is a good example of assuming something being the right thing to do. For anyone reasonable, I would also assume they would understand.

To me, that proves Emily is not someone reasonable. She wants to crash your trip with your boys and is asking you to pay for half of her cost? She is not just unreasonable OP, she is delusional.

And then this! The cherry on top. My favourite of them all.

"she accused me of being dismissive of her feelings."

What a marvelous joke!

Was she looking in a mirror when she told you that? She is the one being dismissive of you. She doesn't care that she wasn't invited, she doesn't care that it's a boys-trip and she doesn't care that you would have to be with her every nights and not with your friends. OP, that is not normal behaviour.

Let's just create an hypothesis here and let's pretend you'd agreed for her to come. Trust me, she won't accept to have you just during the evening and nights. She will make you feel bad for being alone during the day and your time with the boys will shorten and shorten with the days passing by. NTA.

Her behaviour is wildly questionable. Like, stage five clinger red alert. No reasonable person would ambush their partners boys trip like this, but then have the gall to expect you to pay for it too. And why would the boys trip only apply during the day? She expects you to leave your friends each night, while they likely party in the evening, so you can see her? Yikes.

I would seriously reconsider my relationship if someone I was with pulled this batshiz crazy move. Like, she’s disturbed just for booking the trip in the first place and confirmed crazy when she thinks you should pay for it too. NTA. Run dude. It’s her first relationship, isn’t it?

NTA. You told her you don't want her there. Why is she surprised when she hears it again? I am a female with a lovely boyfriend. If he said, "me and the boy's are going out of the country for a boys trip", I would tell him to have fun and I'll miss him. Might message him a few times on the trip to make sure he's alive but that's about it. I would expect him to do the same if I ever went on a girls trip.

_s1m0n_s3z

Emily took this opportunity to set up a them-or-me ultimatum to 'test' your commitment to her. Either you accept her big-footing your trip with the guys, which proves that you love her, or you don't, which she'll interpret as rejection and proof that you don't love her at all.

But this is an unnecessary confrontation she has engineered, one in which whatever you choose, you lose something. And even if you choose her this time, many more such exciting dilemmas will regularly appear, all engineered by insecure Emily, and all designed to strip you of any close ties you have to anyone but HER. I think you should run. NTA.

She’s joining a guys trip. Hell no. None of my friends' HUSBANDS ever join us on our girls trips. Homegirl can stay home. You should reevaluate if she doesn’t get a grip.

So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2025 Someecards, Inc

ADVERTISING
Featured Content