'AITA for not warning people that a character in a friend’s book was based on me?'
"AITA for not warning people that a character in a friend’s book was based on me?"
My best friend, “Cass” is an author who has a few books out. There are bits and pieces of me and everyone else she loves in everything she does, but she wrote a character heavily based on me for her most recent book.
Personality, appearance, some life events, etc. There is a love interest who is also based heavily on a friend of ours, Riley, in the same way. The characters end up together. We all met in college, fwiw. Riley and I have also never dated, hooked up, or anything like that.
I knew this was happening (we have a tradition where I read her 3rd draft), but Riley is not a huge reader so I never mentioned it to them. Same with my husband. The book came out and I didn’t even think about it because while the character is based on me, it is not me.
Well, some time later, we were at another friend’s house when Riley was there. Cass asked Riley if they’d read the book. Riley said they were surprised to find out we ended up together and felt it was odd. My husband asked what Riley meant. Cass said the characters were based on us. My husband was surprised. They both asked why we didn’t tell them ahead of time.
Both of them feel blindsided and uncomfortable about it. I said that in my defense, I don’t go spilling details about Cass’ books in general. And again, the characters are not actually us! And most readers, unless they are the creepy “fandom” stalker-y types, would have no way of knowing. Should I have told them?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
Whatsinaname8879660 wrote:
I mean, you should have said something to your husband, at least. You can see why he’d be weirded out. With that said, basing characters on people isn’t the same as putting people in the story, or is it? How closely do they resemble you and Riley?
Some traits, or literally everything? If it’s everything, she is the AH, and she should have disclosed. You as a reader of a preprint should never disclose anything. But your marriage > your friendship with the author, so YTA for not telling him. Riley should have heard it from her, and you’re NTA on that one.
OP responded:
There are physical and personality similarities, and some big life events that were the same, in part because Riley and I went to college together so we knew each other during those times. But it is not like it is ME, exactly me. Different career paths, the character's family is different, things like that.
Lithogiraffe wrote:
YTA. This attitude of complete nonchalance about it is unnerving. I get that it's basically like fan fiction of two characters that the writer wanted to put together for plot. But you're saying a lot of yourself is in this character, and a lot of Riley is in his character.
I really think you should have given your husband some warning. These are published books. These are out. There are several volumes of them. It's weird.A heads up what have been nice. And your defense of why not is weak. The details of her book are not state secrets. I think your partner could have kept themselves blabbing to the public
OP responded:
This isn't a series. She writes standalone books, so this is the one and only book I would appear in (unless there is a sly mention of my character in a future book by virtue of interacting with me in my job role or in the neighborhood or something).
DevoursBook86 wrote:
That's hella weird for your friend to write something like that where you, a married individual, wind up with someone other than your husband. Then to top it off, that person you wound up with is in your friend group. You're friend ITA. Why is she shipping two of their friends?
Anastrianna wrote:
Yes, you should tell them. At least your husband. You really don't understand why he's weirded out? Yes, the character in the book isn't you, but she's based on you. It doesn't matter that she has a different career path, etc. From what you've said, it's clear there are a lot of similarities. It's not exactly bad thing, but you should warn your husband and friend. The author should do the same.
Stop gaslighting the situation because you're training to do it. It's not that your husband and friend are angry because of fiction. A big part of writing books is drawing inspiration from real life. Even if they're fictional novels. It's normal for an author to use real-life examples. BUT.
They're angry because the author took people they were close to—you and Riley—and literally described them, their traits, their personalities, made obvious who is who by that, and made a romance ship out of it. It's not inspiration. And all this without asking or even without warning.
No excuse like "but the character in the fictional book is not me" changes that. Riley has the right to be angry, and your husband has good reason to feel uncomfortable. I think you know that but you're doing a lot of backtracking in this situation and a lot of excuses. And you're not AH because it's not your book. But you should tell them.
No-Trouble4156 wrote:
Sorry OP, maybe it's just my experience but all this sounds cringe as hell. I'd get serious second-hand embarrassment if someone wrote "real person fiction" about me. And this actually almost did happen to me. When my ex was trying to sell manuscript to an indy publisher, I was told that if there was a character based on me in my ex's book, I had to sign a release.
If I had contributed to the story in any way, like helping write parts or providing anecdotes from my life that were included in the story, I'd have to sign a release and get credited as a co-author. It's probably very different if you self-publish. But maybe it's time you all talk to your author friend about boundaries and using your likeness/personality/life stories in her books.
despitethenora wrote:
As a writer, this is weird. You're not exactly the asshole, but it's really weird for your friend to write recognizably about you and hook you up with someone who's not your husband, and it's weird why you don't seem to get why Riley and your husband are bothered by this.
Edit for the bot, since it looks like I might be top comment: YTA, but Cass is worse. It's more "you're the one acting bizarre" than "YTA," imo.