Nursing student refuses to share detailed final notes with classmates, 'I let them fail.' AITA? UPDATED.
"AITAH 27f for not wanting to share my final notes with my nursing classmates?"
So I am in an accelerated nursing program. We are set to graduate actually this week, but I’m not doing too well in my MedSurg class, and most likely will not be graduating until April if i have to retake this class.
Now, basically for the entire year, there are a few classmates of mine, one in particular, who always asked me to send her my notes for some of our classes to study before an exam. I take a lot of time creating these notes. (Reading the text book, watching videos, rescinding the professor's lectures).
At first I did not mind sending. Until I realize that majority of the classmates had my notes. the one girl I sent my notes to was sending to other people. before our last exam, I looked over at a classmate who I did not send my notes to, and she had my notes printed out, studying from them before the exam.
I didn’t mind sharing my notes because I felt as if we were all working together to pass. That is until I started failing MedSurg. I guess there are tips and tricks and resources online that the class has found and are just not sharing with everyone.
So I feel a way because I feel like I’ve been helping so many people and I’ve asked for help but haven’t received it. No one owes me anything and I understand why people don’t like to share the resources they have because they might get in trouble or they worry the professor might finding and change the exams but I feel bitter now. We have a final tomorrow and several people have been asking me to send them my notes for our pediatric final.
I just don’t want to send them because I feel like I’ve been helping you all year and when I needed help, no one responded. People have literally told me they are only passing the class because of my notes. AITAH for not sharing my notes for the final?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Llama-no_drama said:
NTA. Nobody is entitled to your notes, and if there are resources that aren't being shared then there's no benefit to you. Good luck on your exams!
cbae21 said:
Been there and absolutely NTA. You’ve been very generous. The classmates you share your notes with have no right to share those notes with others. It’s a very crappy thing to do because it’s not their hard work to just give away. For this reason alone I wouldn’t share anymore.
It would be one thing if you shared your notes with a person and they reciprocated with other resources they heard about or use throughout your coursework but if you’re getting nothing out of this don’t get in the habit of sharing. Once in a while is fine, especially if they had a tragedy in their life or something.
Don’t feel bad. I assure you they have their own notes and resources that they don’t share but want to use your notes to make sure they have the extra you picked up on.
RJack151 said:
NTA. Simply tell them that since they are not sharing with you, you will no longer be sharing with them.
Puzzleheaded_Bet3455 said:
Nta you have to do you and worry about yourself. Not the others, they are only worrying about themselves as well.
Needcoffeeseverely said:
NTA they suck for not reciprocating.
UPDATE:
Hey all, So I believe it was yesterday that I’ve posted on this group about how I am currently failing my MedSurg two class which I still am lol our final for that class isn’t until Thursday. There are a couple girls who usually rely on me to send them notes for our classes before exams and I never had an issue until I realized that my notes were being sent to people that I didn’t send them to.
Still, this didn’t bother me until I reached out looking for help pertaining to our MedSurg class because everyone is passing except for me. When I reached out, I got very broad responses as to how they are studying and what resources they are using to get good grades.
I felt a way about this because I feel like all semester or even all year. I’ve been kind enough to share my notes before exams for them to study and they have been doing well now that I need help no one wanted to help I guess they didn’t want to jeopardize the resources they have, which is fine.
I decided to not share my notes this time around before our pediatrics final. It seems as if people were not reading or even studying for the class. They were only relying on my notes. We took our pediatrics final today, and I got a 96.
The group of girls who usually use my notes to study failed, and three of them even got caught cheating using CHATGPT and are now this dismissed from the program. mind you we only have two more days until the semester is over and we are supposed to be getting pinned for graduation.
This final was worth 30% of our grade and a few of them were already sitting at around 77%, failing brought them down below a 75 which is passing for my program.
I kind of feel bad because I knew they relied on my notes but I also don’t feel bad bc I asked for help and no one helped me. AITAH for not giving them my notes? I feel like I let them fail.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this update:
gordo0620 said:
NTA. I’d prefer nursing care by someone who actually earned it, not someone who cheated their way through.
EverVigilant1 said:
NTA. You're not responsible for other people's passing or failing their classes. You're not responsible for other people's academic work or lack thereof.
Cannabis_CatSlave said:
NTA. I used to type up my notes in college as a way to cement the info in my head. Others in class noticed that they were a great study aid and I made a bit of extra cash selling them before exams.
Unless they paid for the prior notes, they have been using you all year and did not want to bother to return the favor when you asked for assistance, feel no guilt about this.
Bonnm42 said:
NTA They are your notes, if you don’t want to share them, that is 100% okay. They didn’t want to help you, only wanted to rely on you. They should have been studying and doing their own notes. What happened to them is their fault and only theirs.
SamiraSimp said:
NTA. you're not responsible for other people's success. it's nice to help other people, but it's also fair to expect to be helped back in return. you were justified in not helping them...and them cheating and being dropped by the program is entirely their fault and no one else's.
Chaoticgood790 said:
NTA they used you. If I was using your notes all semester I would’ve shared my notes back. That’s how my cohort always did things. Now you know, they weren’t trustworthy and were just users.