'AITA for opting out of doing laundry and leaving my clothes in piles on the floor?'

"AITA for opting out of laundry and leaving my clothes in piles, since he won’t help unless it’s his clothes?"

I (27F) am 4 months pregnant and just moved in with my boyfriend Peter (27M). This baby was unexpected, but we’re excited. Things have been better lately, though we had a big fight while moving in because I didn’t unpack fast enough to keep the floor clean. He hates having stuff on the floor. We talked it out and will help each other around the house.

One thing we agreed on was doing laundry together, sorting lights/darks/colors. I’ve been handling some cleaning, cooking dinner, and doing dishes. The other day, Peter started a load of laundry.

I got home from work, finished it, and put the clean clothes on the couch. I was exhausted, so I asked if he could start folding while I finished cleaning, and I’d join him after. He said no because he doesn’t want to fold my clothes.

I didn’t get it and kept pressing him, which led to a fight. Turns out he just “has a thing” about folding other people’s clothes. like he has a thing about clothes on the floor. I’ve been trying to stay on top of laundry for him, but I personally don’t mind clothes on the floor (clean or dirty). Eventually, I was too tired to argue and just went to sleep.

When I got home the next day, I expected the laundry to still be on the couch. Instead, he had folded his clothes and put them away, and put my clothes into bins in our room. I thought that was mean, but he didn’t really get why I was upset.

We talked again, but we’re at an impasse: he won’t fold my clothes and insists I fold my own. But I told him if I have to fold everything myself, I won’t be keeping up with his standard of cleanliness, if he won’t compromise or help.

So now I’ve told him I’m not doing team laundry. I’ll keep my clean/dirty clothes in piles on the floor like I used to. He says that’s unacceptable and wants to be able to run laundry when he wants, but I’m done. I know it’s immature to leave a mess on purpose, but I’m frustrated. We are supposed to be a team.

I even asked if this was a cultural thing (we from different countries), but he said no. It’s just his personal “quirk.” He says it’s okay because he’ll fold the baby’s clothes, but I’m doing the cooking, cleaning, and shopping, and I’m exhausted. And I can’t help but wonder, if I’m too pregnant to even bend over soon, are my clothes just going to end up in bins my the room every time?

TLDR: Moved in with my BF while pregnant. He refuses to fold my clothes and puts mine in bins. I’m tired of being the only one doing housework and now I’m opting out of laundry completely. AITA?

What do you think? AITA? This is what commenters had to say:

Aggravating_Fig_2124 said:

Oh my god you’re so screwed. It won’t get better. Get out while you can. Good luck.

sleepy_brain_333 said:

YTA to yourself for getting pregnant with someone that useless. If you're cooking, cleaning, doing the dishes and doing laundry what is he doing exactly? Move out until he finds his big boy pants and starts contributing.

lihzee said:

ESH. You're an @$$hole for leaving clothes in piles on the floor. He's an @$$hole if he actually isn't helping with any chores at all. This doesn't sound like a relationship that y'all should be bringing a child into. Too much pettiness and immaturity here.

celticmusebooks said:

Curious, how long had the two of you been together when you got pregnant? You say you've been handling "some" cooking and cleaning but apparently not all. How exactly are you dividing the chores? Do you both work full time and contribute equally to household expenses?

OP responded:

We met in January and I got pregnant in February. I do the cooking because I'm the better cook / like cooking. I got my own herb garden to make it more flavorful. I usually clean up the kitchen because I use the kitchen more and I know where things go and what not.

He's been building the furniture, and taking out the trash, and stuff like that. It's really just the laundry that we can't see eye to eye on. We both work full-time. He makes about four times more than me, so for weekly normal stuff (groceries rect bills) he takes a bigger cut than I do. But, we split household purchases like furniture and pots and pans.

Mommabroyles said:

What exactly do you mean by bins? Like yeah bins, plastic Xinhua l containers or laundry baskets?? Unless he's literally throwing your clothes in the trash. I can't understand why you think it's better they are on the floor. Makes no sense. Keep dirty in one laundry basket and clean in the other. Why wash something and then throw it on the floor?

OP responded:

Yeah that's an important distinction. So they are small plastic bins I had in the closet from the dollar store. Not a hamper, but not a trash can. So it took a few of them to fit all my clothes into to place them in the room in different spots.

It bothered me because when I came home I thought he had realized this was a silly argument and just folded the clothes. My plan to solve the argument was to come home and fold the whole pile myself to show him that it wasn't hard to work as a team. But instead I went to the bedroom and my clothes were stuffed into these little bins and in the room.

Pristine_Ad5229 said:

Get a laundry hamper. I hated my ex leaving his disgusting clothes in piles all over the house.

Hamper/basket/whatever and everyone does their own laundry. Simple.

DaBingeGirl said:

WTF? So... he took empty bins you had for storage from the closet, put your clothes in them, and placed them in random spots around the room? Or were the bins meant for clean clothes and he just didn't fold them?

And OP responded:

So they were bins that I had stored in the closet so they would be out of the way while we continue to set up the place. He put my clean unfolded clothes into them, and then placed those bins in the room near / on top of my dresser.