'AITA for bringing meat to my sister’s vegan wedding?
"AITA for bringing meat to my sister’s vegan wedding?"
My sister is a hardcore vegan. She is against all animal cruelty and suffering and it is one of the main things I admire her for. I have 2 kids, Cassy (7F) and Chase (5M).
My sister’s wedding allowed kids, I was very grateful for this as I’m seen as the, “overbearing mom” I don’t like having babysitters since they’re just randos who could do god knows what to my kids, but it also was made clear that it was a vegan wedding.
Chase has been going through a phase where he picks one food and sticks with it for months, I have tried to offer him other foods he likes during these times but he just wants his chosen item.
If he does not get it he ends up throwing a huge tantrum, I don’t support his behavior and try and steer him away from it but sometimes it gets tricky.
His chosen food this time was sausage rolls. Knowing this I knew that if he got fussy at the wedding he would cause a disturbance. Cassy also tends to want things that her brother has but usually gets sick of them after 2-3 weeks.
I had packed a lot them since if her brother had ate them all then Cas would’ve started an uproar.
Everything was fine until I got asked by my son if there were any sausage rolls, I had given him some and asked Cassy if she wanted any but she declined as she had gotten tired of them fairly early.
I still had a lot left over since combined they ate a truck load. One of the guests, sister’s friend Matt, must’ve seen this since he came over and asked me for one. I didn’t think much of it and handed him one.
I’m not sure if this is important or not but not many of my sister’s friends are vegan or even vegetarian. A few minutes after Matt had came up to me two more people did. I had declined this time because it felt a little rude, But the friends left with an annoyed expression.
My daughter had come back up to me after playing with the other kids and changed her mind and wanted some. I let her grab some then she ran again.
My sister then came up to me and was glowing red, she started going off on me about how it was her wedding and how I couldn’t just hand out non vegan food to others since it was disrespectful.
I tried to explain to her that it was just for my kids but when she had told me that, “no one else’s kid’s are acting like this they’re all fine with the food maybe if you were a better parent Chase wouldn’t be in this phase to begin with.”
Like I said earlier I’m a bit of an overbearing mother so when she had said that I just snapped. I yelled about how her closest friends didn’t even like her food (most of the food was prepared by her) and some other immature/hurtful things.
I got up and left with my kids, arguing while walking out. My sister has blocked me on everything and our parents&friends are calling me the a%hole for walking out on the wedding over something so small and that I should just apologize, but until she takes back what she said about my kids I’m making 0 effort for her. So what do you think Reddit, am I the as#hole?
Here's what the jury of internet strangers had to say about this mess:
Electronic_Fox_6383 said:
You're the reason child-free weddings are a thing. A$hole. YTA.
Ok_Shopping_3341 said:
Could’ve got a babysitter but you’re a loud and proud ‘overbearing mom’. Could’ve fed the kids beforehand but you’re a loud and proud ‘overbearing mom’.
Could’ve taken the kids out of the venue and fed them outside but you’re a loud and proud ‘overbearing mom’. Could’ve taught your child not to have a tantrum over food but...I think we get it. While not kind, her words were true. YTA.
FluffyDoodle said:
YTA - You could have fed your kids prior, in the car, before the wedding or whatever. Surely there was some other snack you could have brought. She was out of line in making a big deal about it but you knew what you are were doing and were intentional about so that makes you the bigger AH on that day.
ExcitingEvidence8815 said:
YTA. Her wedding is not about you or your kids, if your kids can't go without a specific food item for one day then you should have respectfully declined the invite. Instead you smuggle food into a vegan wedding and insult the bride on her wedding day....do you really think you are nta here?
travelkmac said:
YTA. Feed kids before and tell them that the food that wedding is all there is and you can’t bring outside food into the place. You’ll have something in the car and bring them to it once or twice.
Take them out to the car to feed son. Ask your sister if the caterer could do a plant based “sausage roll” or find one and try it at home and ask to bring it.
prairiemountainzen said:
Why didn't you just feed your kids before the wedding? Or why couldn't you have stepped outside for a little while while they ate their sausages?
There were plenty of alternatives to breaking out your stash of meat right there in the middle of your sister's vegan wedding, especially when you know how passionate she is about it. YTA.
BenynRudh said:
YTA, she wanted a vegan wedding and your kids behavioural issues are not her problem
You could have found a family friend or relative who wasn't attending to watch your kids, or you could have done the ceremony and skipped the reception to take them home to eat (they should be able to sit still a couple hours without food) or explained to your kids the situation and then if they misbehaved, left.
The wedding is about your sister and her partner, not you, and you disrespected her values. Of course YTA.