Parent group member tells a child 'no' at a school event, 'she stomped away.' AITA?
"AITA for telling a child 'no?'"
Recently at a school event, the teacher asked if the parent group I'm a part of could provide cookies and cocoa. I thought it might be nice to also provide things to add to the cocoa, in this case marshmallows, whipped cream, and sprinkles.
I had a child tell me that she doesn't drink cocoa and asked for just a cup of whipped cream. (Note she and her friends were the first in line. ) As she ate the chocolate chip cookies, I'm fairly certain it wasn't an allergy to chocolate, just a preference to not drink cocoa.
As soon as she asked, the five other kids wanted to have just a cup of the whipped cream too. So I could see where this would end up. So I told her no, that I was sorry, I only had a limited supply of the whipped cream and if I told her yes I'd have to let everyone do it too, and the people behind her in line wouldn't have the cream to add to their cocoa.
I offered her a cup to grab some water, but she stomped away mad. Five minutes later, her mom came up and asked for a cup of whipped cream, and there was another immediate chorus of people wanting cups of whipped cream too. So I explained again about the whipping cream and the people in line, and mom stomped away mad.
A teacher who was attending the event with her child and not connected to the class or parent group (only add a child in the class) came up and asked, with the predictable round of "me too."
I again explained as there is still a line out the door and down the hall, and only having a certain amount of whipped cream available, if I say yes to this child, I'll have to let everyone get cups of cream too...
So I was sorry, but the answer is no. When this unconnected teacher caught me with my back turned, she took the whipped cream anyway and gave it to the child. Which started an avalanche of folks wanting the same thing.
So I kept having to say no, sorry, no for the next 45 minutes until everyone had made it through the line. I will say that we didn't end up running out, but the last person to use it got the very last bit out of the last can. So AITA for saying no, and for being mad at that person doing it anyway?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
debond01 said:
NTA, but this would turn me off from ever volunteering for this stuff in the future.
CleverCat7272 said:
NTA. As a room mom for many years and countless headaches, welcome to volunteering at a school. Hang in there. You will learn from each experience and the teachers really do appreciate the help…despite the bad behavior of the one in this story.
mlc885 said:
NTA. Report that teacher to the administration if she works at this school. There was a limited amount of whipped cream, you had no way of guessing that you needed to buy a full cup of whipped cream each for 40 kids. No one would buy that, you could be a mobile Starbucks van and you still wouldn't plan for that silly request.
Timely-Profile1865 said:
NTA, one of the kindest thing you can do for a child long term is to tell them "no" enough times.
koalaDeVil30 said:
NTA, you explained it calmly and politely to the kiddo and the parent. The parent and teacher however were the a#$es. You have legitimate reasoning as to why you cannot just give whipped cream.
frankie121616 said:
NTA You were right that giving just the whipped cream to that child would have started a frenzy. Kids always want to get something different lol It is ok to give them a polite no, and say you would be happy to make a cup of cocoa with the whipped cream if they wanted it.
At the end of the day, your station was serving cocoa with whipped cream and it’s ok to say no sometimes. That’s when I would tell my kid- you get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.
Jsmith2127 said:
NTA I wouldn't volunteer again. I'd also have a discussion with the principal and whoever else ran this event about the teacher's actions, especially since you paid your own money for the supplies that you brough, that the teacher grabbed, and distributed, after you had already told the kids no.