Surgeon's child shocked to learn parents saved nothing for college despite high income. AITA?
"Parents dropped the bombshell they don't have anything saved for me for college cause 'student loans make you accountable.'"
My father is a surgeon and mother is an attorney. I am a good student not perfect mostly A's with some B's my graduating GPA if I finish next year as I have will be around 3.76 to 3.80.
My parents told me they banked on me getting a full ride like they did and refuse to pay for my education going forward cause they already did so from grades elementary to high-school.
I don't think my grades or GPA are horrible but I know amongst my class I am no where near a top student. Solid middle of the pack. Idk what I am posting this for maybe to seek validation or get some laughs.
Pretty sure I am cooked cause no way I would qualify for anything with my parents income. I know many top schools have great needs based financial services but my parents are far above that threshold. I am cooked eh? Maybe should have begged more instead of yelling.
Update: 3.76 is my non weighed GPA, even with my AP class I am still middle of the pack. Many kids in my school have never gotten below an A. I will admit I am not a perfect student, I am an average student. I have never gotten anything below a B but in my world that in itself is tantamount to failing.
As for the assumption they would be paying for my education, that is just generally how it is done in our circle. Parents paid for undergrad and grad becomes your responsibility. College is hyper competitive now, one of my friends who graduated a two years early barely got much of anything.
I do have a job, it is part time but somethings don't come as easy as others. Have always been great at math, chemistry, physics but the other stuff has also been hard on me and generally take me longer to accomplish.
I know I am mediocre, I am far from as brilliant as my parents but I lost my cool and told them off because I worked hard for my GPA and all I wanted to hear them say was good job. Not shit on it because it could have been better.
I did not ask to go to such high end schools, I begged to go public school probably would have fit in better. I don't belong in the school I am in. I will be fine, I have been able to save all the money I have earned while working and things will be okay. I still have a whole year to figure stuff out.
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
It definitely would've been better if your parents had made it clear years ago that you would be on your own in terms of funding college on your own. Those are years of saving and planning you can't get back, so being pissed is understandable.
This! Comments are full of the bootstraps crowd with stale, outdated views on college affordability in the modern era and an attitude of "you're an adult and your parents don't owe you anything".
At the very least OP's parents presumably read a report card or two over the past 2 or 3 years and knew full well they weren't getting a full ride, which would have been the perfect time to say "we don't have a college fund for you, so you'd better either get your GPA up or get a job and start saving now."
If I was OP I'd be applying for emancipation so at the very least their parents massive resources wouldn't count against my grants and funding applications.
You could tell your parents you plan to start an Only Fans page to pay college tuition. :)
You can try to get a legal emancipation, that way their salaries and jobs don’t affect your student aid. Especially because they’ve said they won’t help you at all.
Do community College for a year or 2 and knock out all the basics and figure out what career path you want to pursue. Don't let your greedy A parents get you to debt trap yourself with loans immediately into undergrad.
Emptynester55 (OP)
My school is a college ready school so most my general education requirements will be met when I graduate. I am going to look into other options and I do work and have been saving majority of my income.
Professor here. I have seen this before. Talk with the college financial aid office directly. Tell them what your parents said. If your parents will confirm it with the school, the school should reevaluate your need, even without legal emancipation. They can also help you find little grants and loans to piece together enough to attend, and they can help you with books and other supplies if you need that too.
NTA. I know someone who was in a similar situation. Great life. Nice house. Lavish living. High earner parents. Except, when he got close to graduating, they finally told him that they were nearly bankrupt.
The house was underwater, the cars were about to be repoed. No college fund. No money. Just big debt. The problem was that they were still earning high, but spending it as fast as it came in, to stay ahead of the debt collectors. So, he couldn't qualify for anything.
He decided to take a year off and work his a$$ off at two jobs. Saved every possible dime, and then went to community college for two years while still working. Hard, hard work. I fed him a lot, and so did other friends. After two years, he transferred to a university, and last year, he graduated with an engineering degree. Which his parents tried to take full credit for (a-holes).
Now, he has a fantastic job that he loves and pays very well. So, if you have the strength and determination, things can be accomplished. But, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. What my friend did was absolutely brutal.
He just figured 4 years of hell would be worth a good future. I agreed with him. I'm very proud of him. If you have the fortitude, this is something you may want to consider.
Yikes! Honestly, I had a similar perspective as your parents when my kids were small. We put ourselves through college on scholarships, grants and loans so our kids will too.
However, the world has changed and kids aren’t playing the same game we were. My 4.0 kid is concerned they won’t get into my (3.75 kid) backup school. My salary is much higher than my parents was, so need based is out of the question.
Student loan debt is crippling younger generations. So, needless to say, we will be helping our kids to cover what is left after their merit based grants and scholarships kick in.
It would be interesting to see what your parents really are thinking. They might want you to have some skin in the game (maybe a small student loan). Hopefully you find that they are willing to kick in some funds once the total picture is clear.