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'Parents got my sister with serious issues a $25k car for Christmas. I got a phone case. AITA?' UPDATED

'Parents got my sister with serious issues a $25k car for Christmas. I got a phone case. AITA?' UPDATED

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"AITA? Parents bought younger sister with serious issues a 25k car for Christmas while all I got was a phone case, been needing a car for a couple years, parents promised one, but gave her one instead."

In my family there are 2 kids (sister and I) and my parents. Christmas was coming up and I’ve been wanting a car for about a year now because I’ve recently gotten my Green P’s (Australian thing that you can get when you’re older than 18).

My parents have mentioned in the past the idea of me paying for half and they’ll cover the other half of a car under total 10k, I can afford this as I’ve saved most of my money from the 2 jobs I’ve kept since I was 14, so no biggie. I’ve also been relying on my mum to drive me to work for the last 4 years, so it was a smart move on their end rather then driving me the 30 mins each way every shift I’ve got.

My sister has just turned 17, which is when you can get your red P’s in Australia, shes never had a job and has no money saved whatsoever. I love her a lot but she’s made some questionable decisions toward her future lately, but that’s a seperate story. My parents haven’t seemed to care as much as they probably should have about these things, and are acting like everything’s normal and all good.

With Christmas coming up at the time and my birthday in early January I thought this might be the time my parents get me that car I’ve wanted for the last year, as they’ve mentioned this idea for the last couple months. I’m obviously excited the week leading up to Christmas wondering what type of car they’ve bought or what they’re looking at.

I wake up Christmas Day around 10am to the sound of my younger sister crying but in a happy way. I’m excited for her as she’s obviously gotten something she’s wanted, I walk downstairs and no ones at the Christmas tree, but a present with my name is sitting there. I figure I’ll come back to it after I find my parents.

Check the front door and it’s wide open, walk out to the drive way to see a brand new blue Hyundai i30 sitting in the driveway with a big ribbon on the front (around 25k), my sister is at the side of it crying with my parents arms around her.

I ask who it’s for and my parents tell me her, I probably could have handled this better but I stormed back into the house, closed my door and stayed in there for the rest of the day, didn’t go with my family to see everyone else for Christmas because of how annoyed I was.

My parents asked me why I did that when they got home, so I asked them why they bought her a car before me, who’s older, willing to pay half, had a job, goes to school and has a stable plan for the future.

They don’t have an answer to that one so they just stay quite and after a couple of minutes of awkward silence they walk out. By this point I forgotten about the present they left under the tree downstairs, so I walk down to open it, and it’s a new phone case from eBay, something I had no use for, I can't get over what they've done. Am I the a$$hole?

Thoughts? This is what top commenters had to say:

said:

Some people are going to comment based on the fact that a new car isn't a gift a teenager should expect. But that's not the issue here. The issue is that your parents showed considerable favoritism toward your sister, you don't know why, and they won't tell you why. That's naturally very upsetting.

Your reaction is totally understandable. So understandable that the fact that they asked you why you were upset seems a bit strange. NTA.

OP responded:

That’s right, I couldn’t really fathom what they’d done when I woke up but when I thought about it more after storming off, I was in Total shock at the clear favouritism and financial investment they put into this drop kick of a sister, she’ll last a couple of months with it before it’s a write off.

But they’ll probably buy her another because that’s what they’re like. I hope it changes soon but man, it really sucks to feel so much less of a human than your sibling.

said:

Oldest child picks the nursing home

said:

Those gifts certainly seem disproportionate. Surely you’re leaving something out of the story?

OP:

She’s been bugging them for months everyday to get her one, I’ve asked once or twice in the space of 3 months

said:

NTA. Your parents get the max a$$hole rating. You get maybe 1/5 (very little) but not because you hurt them Rather because you ruined your own Christmas by reacting that way. Don't get me wrong, I would be absolutely LIVID if this happened to me. Like What the fuck parents?. That's a seriously bad move from EVERY point of view.

- clear favouritism (awful parenting)

- if you were planning on paying a half, it's also a horrible financial decision for them

- you said your sister made questionable decisions for her future, and they support that rather your stable future (as you said) and that's another horrible parenting mistake.

- what kind of message does this send to your sister? "Oh, OP will have to work their butt off their entire life, but mommy and daddy will make sure I'm happy" Edit: minor grammar and spelling mistakes

OP:

Exactly dude, I can’t believe the clear favouritism here, it’s just insane, the amount of leeway they give my sister is absurd for her age and maturity. I don’t even do any of that shit, I try to set the best example possible and she’s still the favourite, I’ll be out of the house as soon as Ive saved enough.

Small update in the comments:

I’ve had a long and deep chat with my parents, I’ve told them exactly how I feel and what reminded them about what they promised. They sounded apologetic and I think maybe they’re starting to understand my point of view a bit more. They said they didn’t want to ruin anything but to wait until my birthday and see what happens.

However, I feel like this wasn’t their intention all along and they only said that to get me back on their side, I’ll wait and see how it all turns out but only time can tell. Thanks for all the comments and upvotes, I’m trying my best to reply to as many as possible but it’s gonna take some time. I hope everyone has a great holidays, and I’ll update mid jan when i know the final outcome.

Ten days later, he shared this update:

So, my birthday was 11th of January, my parents were seeming nicer than usual the entire week beforehand, which might have been because they had time off work or they had a surprise.

The outcome was somewhere in the middle of what I was expecting though, on my birthday, they told me that they were sorry for buying my sister a car for Christmas when I deserved one and really needed it more than her, so they told me that they’d given me $10k to be able to afford something I’d really like and enjoy taking care of, and also to drive to and from work, to school/uni and everything else.

The outcome couldn’t have really been much better than this one especially since they originally said they’d help with 5k toward the car I want, so I’m pretty happy with it, not gonna complain anymore about the situation, I just hope they stop the favouritism and obvious extra love and support they give to my sister all the time.

Sources: Reddit
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