My sister (11 years old) is often treated like the golden child in our family. She seems to get whatever she wants, whenever she wants. My parents consistently go out of their way to make her happy.
They put in a lot of effort for her birthday, fulfilling all her requests, but when it comes to my own, they tend to conveniently forget and claim they're 'broke.' This year, I was determined to enjoy my birthday, so I even took up babysitting and mowing lawns to make it happen.
My birthday occurred a few days ago, and the party was scheduled for the day after. I had been planning for weeks and had invited all my friends. I bought the food, snacks, and drinks, and picked up my custom-made cake, which I was genuinely excited about—it was absolutely perfect.
However, on the night before the party, I noticed a large slice missing from my cake in the fridge. When I asked my dad about it, he simply shrugged and casually mentioned that my sister had wanted a piece of it and suggested that it was such a small portion that my friends wouldn't even notice.
I couldn't help but get upset with him. I asked why he would do something like that, especially since he didn't even pay for the cake. I felt my sister could have waited until the next day.
This led to an argument, with my dad accusing me of acting like an adult just because I organized the entire party by myself and didn't ask them for anything. In the end, I decided to call off the party because it was too late to change the location, and I no longer wanted to host it at home. I was deeply hurt.
One of my friends later told me that canceling the party might have been an overreaction and that I could have gritted my teeth and proceeded with hosting it at home, even though I was disappointed, instead of canceling just hours before.
OP added some extra context:
I'm 16 and I'm used to my parents not wanting to get me stuff. Even when it's not my birthday, but they always get my sister things. I wanted to have a good birthday where I wouldn't have to rely on them because they always disappoint me.
I only got birthday wishes and that's pretty normal, but my sister gets birthday parties, fun days out, gifts etc. The cake meant a lot because the previous two years they somehow couldn't even get me cake.
OP responded to some comments:
NTA (Not the A%#hole). Next year see if you can have your party at someone else’s house. Don’t invite your family. Next time something like this happens, show everyone the cake the way it is. Let people ask and let your parents answer.
I have definitely learnt my lesson, I won't celebrate here and they won't be invited.
NTA. To be honest, I probably would have canceled too. If the party is at your parents' house, you already know your sister is going to act out and get all the attention, and your parents will pull another stunt. Even if you paid for it yourself, they might still say, 'It's our house.
A part of me feels like that this was a possibility. It felt like my parents had an issue with the party just because I didn't involve them judging by what my dad said and some of their other snide remarks in the past few weeks. It was just the last straw.
Please tell me that you cut the cake and smeared half of it on your parent’s stuff and half on your sister’s and told them they needed to clean it up themselves since they saw no problem with stealing your cake. Which is precisely what they did.
I was so mad. I didn't even eat it.
NTA. But make sure to eat your sisters entire cake the night before her birthday.
NTA. Be sure and remind your parents that this is an example of why you've gone no contact after you leave high school.
What do you think? Was OP right to cancel her party?