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Grandparents try to get granddaughter to invite estranged stepsister to graduation. AITA?

Grandparents try to get granddaughter to invite estranged stepsister to graduation. AITA?

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"AITA for telling my mom and her husband that they do not get to ruin my siblings special events to get what they want?"

Classic_Exam_6792

My mom and her husband have tried to coerce my youngest sister (18 next week) to invite the husband's daughter to her high school graduation in May. People will be confused about why this is such a big deal and I'll explain.

My dad died when I (30M) was 5. Mom met her husband "Jim" when I was 8 and his daughter Layla was 6. Mom and Jim moved fast. They were married within 6 months and it was just over a year after Jim lost his wife and Layla's mom.

Layla hated it. She wanted to live with her aunt from the jump of the relationship and screamed the whole way through their wedding which they went ahead with anyway. It was a total nightmare. I had been so excited for mom too, originally, because my dad was a POS and I felt she deserved so much better.

Jim decided we should do family therapy to try and work through things. So for three years we went in different combos. My half brother was born 3 years into therapy, followed a year later by the oldest of my sisters.

Two years later, mom was pregnant with my youngest sister and things went to trash. Layla walked away from mom trying to pick her up from school one day and told this girl's parents that my mom was trying to take her. The police were called, CPS came, Jim got involved and for two days there were questions asked and Layla was spoken to.

She asked if she could live with her aunt because she wanted to and CPS told her she needed to live with her dad. So Layla decided, since that didn't work, she would accuse my mom of not treating her right.

Jim stood by mom and CPS investigated but all of us were taken into temporary foster care while it was figured out. I was placed with my brother and sister while Layla went to her aunt's house.

Through the whole thing, Layla and I were both interviewed countless times and my mom was cleared. But it was decided Layla should stay with her aunt while she and Jim went to therapy together.

Jim saw her for 2ish years until Layla told him she wanted nothing more to do with him. She also wished mom and me dead and some awful things on my siblings. The youngest never "met" Layla at all.

The other two don't really remember her. But they know we were taken from mom and Jim because of what she said. We also know from Jim's parents that she still hates mom, me and them.

But she moved closer recently and Jim has been trying to reconcile with her. Now he and mom want to try and force this happy family dynamic on my sister and she's feeling so stressed about it because she doesn't want Layla there. She asked me to speak to mom but mom said I had no idea what I was talking about.

So I told her and Jim when I saw them together that they didn't get to ruin my siblings special events to get what they want and that they can make plans to meet with Layla without risking my siblings feelings. They tried to say Layla is my sibling/our family too and I'm being hard on them. AITA?

Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:

dart1126

NTA

"…but mom said I had no idea what I was talking about"

Ah, the old history rewrite that’s basically gaslighting.

This is your sisters graduation. She’s basically never met Layla, but knows from the rest of you what she has wrought. She never met her because Layla chose to leave the family. Your sister’s graduation is not the place to try to reinstate Layla into the fold.

Not sure any situation is, but it should be of everyone’s choice. They let Layla make the choice of who she lives with/ is around years ago. They need to do the same for all of you now.

Comfortable-Sea-2454

NTA - your Mom and SD are acting totally irrationally.

"Jim saw her for 2ish years until Layla told him she wanted nothing more to do with him. She also wished mom and me dead and some awful things on my siblings. The youngest never "met" Layla at all. "

If Jim wants a relationship with Layla, then he can do so. But he cannot force your sister to welcome a total stranger to her graduation, and should not try to do this.

NatashOverWorld

They're ruining one child's day for the chance to impress the other. Tell them to stop playing favourites or they might lose all their kids who are tired of their BS. They're the parents, it's not your responsibility to sacrifice to make things easier. NTA.

Far_Dependent_8975

NTA. This girl is a complete stranger for your sister, it's ridiculous. Either way, the argument is simple, a graduation ceremony is neither the place nor the time for a reconciliation meeting.

Your little sister will feel awkward at best on a day that should be full of happy memories for her. Ideally it would be better if you could be there for her, they could always bring his daughter over without invitation 😒

Frankensteins_Kid

NTA I HATE when people with kids decide to get married without considering their kids' feelings. It's all about how they feel and what they want out of it. They're being selfish.

They're acting like their kids aren't people with thoughts & opinions. Then they try to force everyone to play happy family so they could live in their fantasy world where everything is picture perfect.

Your sister doesn't want Layla there. I'm pretty sure Layla doesn't even want to be there. Now they want to hijack your sister's graduation & make it about meet and greet? They're being selfish again. It's been YEARS. Layla made it clear that this pretend-happy-family is not gonna happen. They need to stop.

So, what do you think with this one? If you could give the OP any advice, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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