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'AITA for losing my cool with my parents for pushing me to forgive my cheating ex.'

'AITA for losing my cool with my parents for pushing me to forgive my cheating ex.'

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"AITA for losing my (27f) cool with my parents (57f,59m) for pushing me to forgive my cheating ex."

ThrowRA_CowLife

Lost my cool with my (27f) parents (57f, 59m) for pushing me to forgive my cheating ex. I was to be married in July. Two months ago I came home from a work trip to find my ex fiance in bed with my bff's sister.

I kicked him out, canceled the wedding, warned him I would get rid of his stuff if he didn't come get it all then weeks later dumped it all on the curbside with a FREE sign, sold or donated or dumped everything he gave me, and pawned the ring.

I blocked him everywhere. Called the cops on him when he showed up (after I gave his stuff away) banging on my door, called them again when he turned up at my workplace and made a scene, and called them on his family when they showed up in mass to plead his case.

I didn't go scorched earth on ex bff's sister. I did tell her husband I caught her in bed with my ex. Last I heard she'd been kicked out of the house and was back living with her parents.

Ex bff tried talking me into giving them both a chance to explain (what? No) then got angry at me for ruining her sister's relationship, called me petty and cold hearted. So I kicked her to the curb too.

I don't want dishonest people that are blasé about betrayal in my life. This encounter no doubt simmered under my skin until I unleashed on my parents. Maybe that’s the reason, because it lingered, I was so harsh with them.

Last week I met my parents for dinner. I took a date with me to the restaurant hoping his being there would waylay any discussion about my failed engagement. My parents have been pressuring me to work things out with the ex.

He's so, so sorry. I owe it to him to talk with him. Give him 5 minutes to explain himself. She meant nothing to him, he made a mistake. I'm cruel for shutting him out the way I have. How could I call the police on him? How could I do the same to his family? His parents?

They're good people, they didn't deserve to be humiliated in that manner. He's having a rough time. He's depressed. Everybody is worried about him. He loves me, really loves me. He's learned his lesson. It's time to grow up and forgive him.

No. My date's presence didn’t stop them from bringing it all up again. I lost my cool. Asked my father if he expected me to give my ex a pass every time he sticks his deeeeek into anything that moves? Like he does.

I asked my mother how turning a blind eye to her husband's infidelity works for her. How does she hold her head up while having lunch with women that have slept around with her husband for years? Is that the kind of men, the life she wants for me and my sister?

For her daughters? I asked if they had any idea of the impact that knowledge had on me and my siblings growing up. Knowing that dad was late home from work because he was screwing his secretary.

Knowing "work weekend" was code for dirty weekend with a woman not our mother. Did they not know why it was that of their four children, I am the only one that still talks to them?

Do they not question why they were not invited to my brothers weddings? Why they have never met either of my brothers wives and children? Do they think my sister's silence is because she's being dramatic and throwing a tantrum? Really?

I stood from the table, congratulated them on the loss of their last, remaining child, and told them I hoped their arrogance, willful blindness, and misery was a comfort them to their last breaths. Then I left.

My date, I should've saved him for a proper date rather than a f-you to my parents, took me to the nearest bar, let me cry on his shoulder while I proceeded to get hammered, then made sure I got home safely.

The next day he messaged me to see if I was alive and sent a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a large Sprite over with DoorDash. I didn't block my parents but I haven't heard from them. It's been a week and I've calmed down enough to feel regret. Not for what I said, but because I can see the looks on their faces when I made my final farewell.

I crushed them, hurt them, especially my mother. Despite their faults, and there are many, I love my parents. I don't like knowing I hurt them. I'm feeling a lot of guilt about it. AITA?

EDIT - I have yet to read all the comments, but from what I have seen so far, I think some details need to be cleared up. My date knew we were going to have dinner with my parents.

He asked me out that morning. I told him my plans for the evening and jokingly asked if he wanted to come along. I didn’t expect him to say yes. I then informed him I wasn't serious, and anyway, it would probably be a little uncomfortable, and he said if needed, he could post bail. So, there you go. He did not enter that restaurant unaware of potential drama.

EDIT #2 - The people mentioned in my post are not the only people in my life. I have my siblings in my life. They didn't cut me off. My sister flew in to be with me just days after I discovered the cheating. And I have good friends.

Friends who helped me pack up ex's things. Helped me to move it all down to the curb. A friend that found me a guy that paid a fair price for the engagement ring. I only mentioned ex, ex bff, etc, because how they acted and what they were saying contributed to all those buried feelings that had been dormant for years coming out when they did, in the way they did.

Here were the top rated comments from readers:

Englishbirdy

NTA. Well maybe to the date but he seemed to take it well. Good for you for not taking back a cheater, what's wrong with all these people who think you should have?

sissysindy109

Seems like she has had too much experience with cheaters. No wonder she doesn’t tolerate that bs.

MarcusSuperbuz

"I lost my cool. Asked my father if he expected me to give my ex a pass every time he sticks his deeeek into anything that moves? Like he does. I asked my mother how turning a blind eye to her husband's infidelity works for her.

How does she hold her head up while having lunch with women that have slept around with her husband for years? Is that the kind of men, the life she wants for me and my sister? For her daughters?

I asked if they had any idea of the impact that knowledge had on me and my siblings growing up. Knowing that dad was late home from work because he was screwing his secretary.

Knowing "work weekend" was code for dirty weekend with a woman not our mother. Did they not know why it was that of their four children, I am the only one that still talks to them?

Do they not question why they were not invited to my brothers weddings? Why they have never met either of my brothers wives and children? Do they think my sister's silence is because she's being dramatic and throwing a tantrum? Really?"

I'm going to honest here love, if i had been present, I would have been cheering you on. Just because these two are folks doesn't mean you don't need to put them in there place.

So what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?

Sources: Reddit
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