My fiancée, Lyric, and I have been together for 5 years now, and I proposed to her recently. Her family was super happy for us, but mine were less so. My siblings were fine, though they all think I'm too young to get engaged (I'm 23).
My parents are where the problem arises. They were always a little surprised that my fiancée's name is actually Lyric. When they first met her, they asked what her real name was. They dropped it, but I could tell there was a "WTF" going on in their heads. I told them they had such a strong reaction.
They said they had never met someone with the name before. I pointed out that they had met one person, but still. They were never outright rude to her, so I kept an eye on things between them, and she didn't feel like they were weird with her or rude. I checked in with her when we were around my family, just to be sure.
It was only when we announced the engagement that my parents told me I couldn't possibly marry someone named Lyric. They asked what people would think about me being married to one of those people who was given a ridiculous name by her parents and who chose to keep it as an adult instead of changing it to an actual name, versus something her parents decided would make her cool and stand out.
They said this is the real world, and people named Lyric, Ryder, Jayden, Skye, Meadow, Rosie, Indie, Katniss, Khaleesi, Brynley, Honey, etc., are the kind of people who get passed up for jobs, mocked behind their backs, and pitied for sticking with something their parents saddled them with.
They told me they did not want me to marry someone named Lyric, and I could find a respectable person who was not "white trailer trash" and clearly out to be an embarrassment to herself by proudly holding onto a name like Lyric.
I told my parents they were wrong to say that, and I would not let them insult Lyric like that without consequence. They said it's her parents they feel more disgusted by, but clearly she has been a bad influence, and what about my future kids with Lyric? Are they supposed to accept having a little Apple, Zoo, and Ireland running around?
They said they could not honestly accept a Lyric into the family. I told them they were being so judgmental and harsh on Lyric and her parents and the parents who use names they don't like in general when they are the people who create problems in the first place.
I said it was disgusting that they were being so awful about this and to imply that Lyric isn't good enough because of her name shows how nasty and judgmental they are. I told them they should look at themselves before judging others like that. I told them it was them I was embarrassed by, not Lyric.
I also told them not to worry about welcoming Lyric into the family because we wouldn't want to be part of their family. I walked away from them at that point. I blocked them, but they got to my siblings who said I should never have insulted our parents, and I should be grown enough to handle an argument better. AITA?
OP responded to some comments.
NTA (Not the A%#hole) your parents don’t like someone because of their name?! Good lord. They sound awful and you didn’t insult your parents. You told your parents that their behavior was garbage. You were a ton nicer than I would have been. Lyric is an absolutely beautiful name.
Yes, they judge her as an adult for her name because to them, she could (and should) change it to have a name they feel is societally approved of. The fact she hasn't is a character flaw in their eyes.
Who made them “judge” for names?
Self appointed. Though they would say they have been asked for their opinion in the past.
I don't suppose they consider that changing the name could be offensive to the ones who named her. They are chopped liver, huh? I never understood crazy names. In my tradition you pick a saint's name and a boring one at that, but some people think differently, and it is their business.
They don't think much of Lyric's parents for giving her the name. They even said they think her parents are worse. So they probably want to offend them.
Yikes NTA and keep the parents blocked and no contact and maybe potentially your siblings.
Yeah, my siblings are going to be added to that list I think. I gave them all the info so I will see how they respond but in my gut I feel like we'll be going our separate ways too.
What do you think? Did OP make the right choice?