Parrot owner bans friend from home after discovering 'exploitative' bird videos. AITA?

"AITA for banning my friend from my home after she refused to take videos of my bird down?"

Two years ago I adopted an African Grey Parrot who had suffered neglect, it took me a long time to get her to trust me and now she is the most loving bird in the world (in my totally unbiased opinion), she is very popular with my friends and loves the attention and company as African Greys are incredibly intelligent and need constant stimulation.

One of her favorite things is to sing along her favorite Disney Songs a thing I indulge whenever she indicates she wants it on. It recently came to my attention my friend had filmed some of these sing-alongs and uploaded it to her Youtube without my knowledge or permission...

I found out as I went looking on my friends Youtube for an old video of a night out with a friend who had passed that I was missing, so imagine my surprise when I found six videos of my girl singing.

This made me uncomfortable as it felt like she was exploiting her for views which after her previous neglect and how long it took me to win her trust did not sit well with me. I confronted my friend about this and she told me it was harmless and it was nice to share cute moment and document it for the future...

I told her if that was the reason she'd done this she'd have not hidden it from me. I asked her to delete the videos and she refused, so I told her I didn't want her back in my house until she took the videos down as I didn't trust her to not try and get more videos.

She thinks I'm being unreasonable as it doesn't hurt my bird and it's not like she's a child who she is putting on the internet for views. Maybe I was too hard on my friend but the whole situation feels gross, she is refusing to remove the videos still and has told our friends that I'm being ridiculous...

Most agree with me that it's incredibly weird she uploaded the videos without my knowledge but a couple think I'm being too harsh as it's "Just" a bird. Could I have handled this better? Am I reacting too strong?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

Winterfox1994 said:

I do think it’s an overreaction to think someone filming something your pet is doing they think is cute is exploiting them like their previous abuse, insinuating that in your comment is not okay at all. They are not the same or even similar whatsoever.

Your friend is an AH though. It is your pet and if you’re uncomfortable with them posted on a public platform that is completely fair enough to set a boundary due to the fact you don’t like it. Some people like to post their lives online, some don’t. I haven’t posted on most my social media profiles in years, I like privacy.

Tagged photos at events etc are unavoidable really and I don’t care much, but a photo of your pet in the privacy of your own home when you have said you don’t like it is pretty intrusive. If they can’t understand that they aren’t a real friend.

volumeoforgottenlore said:

The bird has no conception of being put online or being exploited. The way you think about this bird is kind of unhinged. What you should be uncomfortable about is people filming in your house without your permission, not some weird notion that the bird is being exploited and having her trust violated.

drumrD said:

ESH, you're massively overreacting and confabulating your parrots previous abuse with this and your friend is clearly one of these vacuous morons who puts every detail of her doubtlessly beige life on the net for validation.

DaxxyDreams said:

YTA for saying she’s exploiting your bird. She’s not. It’s a cute bird video. Your attitude toward the bird is a little…much.

Full_Pace7666 said:

NTA. I don’t care if it’s a bird, your child, or a totally radical new paint job in your living room. Nobody should be recording in your house with your knowledge or consent and ABSOLUTELY not posting any of it online.

thinbuddha said:

YTA. It's OK to not want the video to be public. It's NOT OK for you to suggest your friend is "exploiting" your bird for doing the totally normal thing of uploading a cute video. I feel like there is something you aren't saying here that would explain why it's important for the video not to be publicly available.

Whatever that is, you should apologize for questioning your friends character, explain why it's important for the video to be removed, and ask them to please remove it.