'AITA for passive aggressively putting my tissues in my coworker's trash can?' UPDATED

"AITA For Filling My CoWorkers Bin With Passive Aggressive Tissues?"

I do admin. My role and the office I work in isn't public facing. It is two linked open rooms with two smaller offices and a break room leading off them. Recently, my coworker who has the desk next to me has acquired an emotional support dog.

I am very allergic to dogs and I wasn't expecting there to be a dog in my office so on the first day she brought the dog in, I didn't take any allergy meds. I asked her what the dog was doing there and she explained he was her new Emotional Support Animal. Within an hour my eyes and nose were streaming, I was struggling to breathe and sucking on my inhaler.

The office manager allowed me to go home and wfh for that day and I agreed to take meds the next day.The next day I took meds and was a bit better but I was sucking on my inhaler far more often than I would (and than is recommended for asthma which is well managed).

I asked the manager if I could exchange desks with someone further away or move desks - this was refused as was suggesting my coworker and dog work in one of the side offices. So over the last few weeks I've been trying different allergy meds, I've finally gone for one that is prescription, not over the counter, and I'm using my inhaler less.

My eyes aren't streaming but my nose is. I'm going through boxes of tissues. I'm hoping I get used to these meds because right now they're making me a bit slow (my partner is driving me to and from work as I'm not comfortable taking them and driving yet).

Anyway I am working noticeably slower than I used to and I was picked up on this over the phone by another (senior) colleague this week. I explained that I was on new medication and that I was hoping to be back up to speed soon.

My coworker heard the conversation and told me I was passive-aggressively complaining about her dog because "we all know why you're taking" the meds and that I was blaming the dog for having gotten lazy and slow.

I said that that wasn't true and she didn't know what passive aggression was, I then left and made myself a cup of tea (usually when we go to the break room we offer to make everyone a cup), that was supposed to be my demo of passive aggression but I heard her bitching about my attention seeking tears - I literally couldn't stop my eyes streaming without medication - and maybe lost it a bit.

When she went to lunch I tipped my wastebin full of used tissues into hers. And it is full by lunch and then again by hometime. I've done this everyday this week.

Another colleague says I've made my point and need to stop otherwise she's (the coworker with the dog) planning on taking me to HR, my reaction was to say "let her, I don't care," which got a disapproving reaction from the colleague who was trying to warn me. I'm being childish I know but AITA here?

What do you think? AITA?

Here are some of the top comments and OP's responses:

Comment 1: ESH. You shouldn't need to get sick at your place of work but I still think the tissue thing is disgusting. I'd possible get a doctors note about allergy and maybe seek out HR?

OP: I'm filling up her bin with my used tissues. If she wants to use her bin in the afternoon then she'd have to empty the bin. Otherwise it's the cleaner who empties the bins.

themomerath said:

An ESA isn’t a Service Animal trained for a specific task. That alone should have been enough reason for OP’s coworker to leave it at home once it was clear it was causing OP legitimate health problems. Things would have been hairier and harder to deal with if the pet WAS a service animal, but this should have been a non-issue.

[deleted] said:

"but she's friends with the supervisor." Say no more. This was the root cause of this whole mess. NTA

Similar-Shame7517 said:

Oh god your coworker is the stereotypical "This is my emotional support llama! You cannot force me to even be inconvenienced in any way!" Karen. Also your supervisor really messed up and exposed the company to liability there. NTA.

Here are some more responses from OP in the comments:

I'm beginning to feel like a total dummie for not already going to HR. It didn't occur to me that I could after the manager said that I couldn't move desks or anything.

Why I've not already gone to HR, because I'm a dumbass and it took the comments here before I realised I should have done that weeks ago. Can't do HR until Monday but I have emailed my union for advice.

I've contacted my union, the rep even emailed back today (on a Sunday?!?) she's meeting with me tomorrow to go through what my next steps are. Apparently she can come with me to any/all HR meetings even if they're scheduled because my colleague puts in a complaint. So hopefully I stop thinking through my snot filled haze tomorrow.

I have no idea how I'd go about suing them and I'm not totally convinced that I could (not in the US or Germany) or what that would mean for my work environment. However I did get my union and HR involved and I really should update this.

She later shared two updates.

UPDATE #1:

I've met with my union rep, and with their advice, composed an email and sent it to my supervisor. We have also requested a meeting with HR to discuss reasonable accommodations for my allergies.

UPDATE #2:

Whew. So the TL:DR - I get to work from home two days a week! I still have my job and my coworker can bring her dog in when I'm at home. My union rep is a lovely woman who knows her stuff and HR seem to have spent their time bollocking my supervisor.

My supervisor responded to the initial email by telling me that we'd already discussed my requests and I just had to suck up sitting next to the dog. So then I sent an email (in reply to that one) cc'd to HR saying that I couldn't come in the next day as my partner wasn't available to drive me (not strictly true) and I wasn't safe to drive due to the allergy meds I needed to take because of the ESA dog.

Supervisor replied with a really unprofessional email and according to my colleague (the one who told me I was being a dick) got hauled into a meeting about that which involved one of the Bosses actually shouting. I spent two days irritating my GP surgery for notes re: allergies and asthma history as well as a specific doctor's note for this incident.

Then there was the meeting with HR, there was me, union rep, two HR people, supervisor, supervisor's boss and supervisor's boss' boss! They didn't take me to task at all! Instead they wanted to accommodate my health and me to stop taking meds that affected my ability to drive to be able to work.

So we worked out that I will work in the office Mon-Wed and from home Thur-Fri, my colleague will work from home Mon-Tue and half day Wed, she and I both need to be in half day on Wed which will be without her dog but she can bring him in Thursday-Fri and because the office gets deep cleaned Saturday this shouldn't be a problem for me by Monday. (Next week is the first week we'll actually try this).

Oh and the office gossip is that the coworker with the dog didn't actually get any sort of official accommodation to bring him in but she's friends with the supervisor which is why he was just there and no one checked about coworker allergies etc. This went super smoothly, union rep knew all the right paperwork and what to say to everyone. Join a union, people!