'AITA for paying for my dog’s surgery instead of helping my girlfriend’s sister with her rent?'
"AITA for paying for my dog’s surgery instead of helping my girlfriend’s sister with her rent?"
I have a dog that's on the older side at 9-years-old and a few weeks ago it lost the use of its back legs. I had to get surgery for him because I was not getting him put down. All in all it came to £8.5k, all of which I had to pay out of pocket for. This wasn't a huge problem because I have plenty saved up and in general I am well off.
Here’s the issue, my girlfriend’s sister has been struggling with rent. Apparently she’s behind by a few months and panicking about being kicked out. When my girlfriend found out what I paid for the surgery she got really upset with me and said I was selfish. Her words were along the lines of, “You’d spend eight grand on a dog but you won’t even help my sister keep a roof over her head?”
Since then my girlfriend has been pissed off with me and keeps calling me cheap and selfish for not helping her sister. I feel like I shouldn't have to suffer for another person's poor life choices. The reason her sister is in this predicament is because her relationship fell apart and she's living in a place she can't afford.
Further to that, I own a 4 bedroom home and my girlfriend suggested her sister moving in with us, but I refused.
AITA for refusing to help her sister?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
AdAffectionate1766 wrote:
NTA dogs are better than most people and they don’t have their own income. My 12yo beagle had pneumonia in July was in oxygen cage at emergency vet for almost 48 hours so I can relate to $$$. You are not responsible for her sister, you are responsible for your dog.
Perimentalpause wrote:
NTA. "Were you going to pay for anything? My dog? YOUR sister? No. You expect me to pay for everything because I'm the guy. That's antiquated BS. If you're really all about that lifestyle, then maybe I should rethink this relationship. I'm not here to clean up the messes made by your family.
They're all capable adults, and I doubt any of them would be able or willing to help you out of the same situation. I want peace in my home. That means not having your sister with her messy life drama in my house. And if you keep this up, then it means not having you in it. My dog is my responsibility, just like a child would be.
I wouldn't expect you to pay for him, but I also don't expect you to give me crap over doing what's morally and ethically my responsibility. He's not a throwaway pet that I just get rid of because he's financially inconvenient at the moment. This is the time he needs me most. Frankly, your dismissal of a living creature is enough for me to want to rethink this anyway."
You might want to have a good long think about if you're with her because you have been for so long, or if she's bringing you joy into your life. Anyone that can just 'why not just let the dog die' at a beloved pet isn't someone I'd hitch my wagon to. It's one thing if you don't have the money and it's a serious choice. That's not the issue here. You have the money. She just wants you to do what SHE feels is right with it. Boo.
bountiful_dog wrote:
NTA. You're not married. You aren't dating the sister. So there's absolutely no reason why you should help the sister pay HER rent. Why didn't she pay it? Does she have a shopping or drug addiction? No job? Absolutely DO NOT let the sister move in. Then you'll be stuck with both of the freeloaders.
StrictShelter971 wrote:
You are not responsible for your girlfriend's sister's living situation. You are only responsible for you and your dog. Heck you are not even responsible for your girlfriend's financial situation on top of that. So I would suggest getting a new girlfriend if your current one is trying to get you to pay a strangers rent.
lovecraftink wrote:
Gross. NTA. Your dog cannot take care of themselves, can’t earn more can’t work more to save to drive themselves to a vet. That woman is an adult and should be more financially aware. Your girlfriend should be your ex.
Certain-Thought531 wrote:
How is her sister's living conditions your problem in any way?
She's your girlfriend, not your wife. And even a wife would have to be more considerate when asking for help for her sibling, rather than expecting and demanding it.
That's the bloodiest red flag in a relationship, if I were in your shoes, I'd consider the future carefully.
NTA.
FantasticBoot7205 wrote:
NTA - I’d put my dog first. If she’s expecting you to pay her sister’s rent or let her sister move into your house that says a lot about how she thinks she’s entitled to your money.
PearGlum1966 wrote:
Ummm, since when is it your responsibility to look after your gf's sister? She is a big girl and can look after herself. If she can't pay her rent, she goes back to her parents or finds something she can afford. The fact you paid for your dogs surgery has nothing to do with this. It's irrelevant because it's not anyone else's business but yours.
your-mom04605 wrote:
NTA. But holy hell find a better girlfriend. Happy to spend all of your money and resources with no input from you? Yikes. And you can spend YOUR money on whatever YOU like - it’s always like that for everyone.
Trekker6167 wrote:
NTA, you had a responsibility to provide your dog with the best care possible. I'd get a new girlfriend if I were you.
MedicinalWalnuts wrote:
NTA. However, you need to dump your girlfriend, who is determined to make her sister's poor choices your problem.