'AITA for photoshopping my nieces and nephews out of the pictures I posted online?'
"AITA for photoshopping my nieces and nephews out of the pictures I posted online?"
My (F27) sister in law( my husband’s sister) (F38) decided about a year ago that she does not want her kids’ faces posted on social media. She still posts almost daily family photos but always with stickers covering the kids’ faces.
I only post on social media for special events. My friends list is mostly family and a few friends back home ( Middle East ). My grandma especially loves logging into Facebook to see pictures of my kids.
She often messages me afterward to talk about them and sometimes even shows the photos to her group of friends back home. She has told me this. I am okay with a bunch of grannies seeing the pictures.
At my son’s 5th birthday recently I was taking photos. My sister in law approached me and said she does not want anyone online to see her kids’ faces. I said I understood.
Later she told my husband (M40) that she thinks it is weird that we are okay with exposing our kids online and that it is just bad parenting. My husband laughed and said we are not Instagram famous like her since she has quite a few followers and that no one really cares. He told her to relax.
Instead of putting stickers on her kids’ faces I photoshopped them out of the pictures before posting online. My grandma sometimes prints photos and stickers would look odd. Also my sister in law does not want her kids’ pictures posted online anyway.
My sister in law later called furious. She said I was being a vindictive AH and that it looked like her kids were not at the party or did not matter. My husband backed me up and said she was overreacting. He told her that I respected her wishes and did not post her kids’ pictures online and that I do not owe her an apology.
My sister in law blocked both of us. My mother in law says we should explain the misunderstanding better and just apologize and end this argument. Do I owe her an apology? Was an AH?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
She told you not to post her kids faces so you didn't. Now she's mad about it? Some people just wanna be offended no matter what you do.
Obvious-Contract9374 (OP)
I don’t get her logic. I don’t wanna post stickers.
Maybe the stickers are virtue signaling? “Look at me, I’m a conscientious parent, praise me for my conscientious parenting, you do it too so I can be a trendsetter”? NTA.
"Don't post my kids"
OP doesn't post her kids.
"No, not like that"
NTA.
She likes posting pics with stickers over her kids’ faces because then it will be obvious to others that she is “a good mom” and is “protecting their privacy.” She’s using her kids the same way any other influencer does 🙄
You did what she asked. She strikes me as someone who would argue with her own shadow. Do not apologise for respecting her wishes.
You are not the AH. She has a boundary with her kids which you are respectful off and is accommodating and she is still mad? It makes no sense. So she wants to control how you do not share her kids online and not only that you don’t do it, I don’t think it is okay for her to be mad about.
NTA. Is not like you went out of your way to post online tagging her and saying since you don't want your kids online, now none of y'all are posted online. Like that other post. You respected her wishes that she doesn't want other people on social media to see her kids so you took them out of the picture.
However I would have asked your brother and SIL if they were OK with you sending Grammy idk via email or private chat, the photos where their kids appear. I mean, is not like you would have posted her children online but I assume if grams can check Facebook, she can check some messages with pictures.
Given all kids are small and everyone's ages, granny can't be that old to not have a smartphone, my mother knows how to work the basics of her smartphone and she's 80. Maybe see if they want to send grandma the photos? Did you send THEM the photos that include their children via chat so they can do as they please with them?
Might want to teach SIL that stickers can be easily removed and if she wants stickers for posting online she should scribble or delete the faces (there are apps that you can manually blur some things and blur the blur) and on top of that she can put the stickers.
Obvious-Contract9374 (OP)
My husband is an IT manager and explained this to her . She didn’t care and told him , he was wrong.
In that case let her be willingly delusional lol. You can't reason with that people. I tried for AGES to tell a friend not to post public photos of his daughter, especially ones showing her school uniform with the name of the school, or right at the door of their home. Like visible address not just a random door.
Public, not just to his social media contacts. He says OMG thank you, you're right... Then does it again. I worry about the kid but what can you do when the parent won't listen. Just send her or your brother or husband's brother depending what kind of SIL this is, the photos where their kids appear and they can do as they please with those.
NTA. That is crazy. She can’t have it both ways.
Obvious-Contract9374 (OP)
My husband says she wanted the stickers to make a point out “my kids are protected ! Look at me I’m the good mom! “. My MIL thinks she feels like we eliminated her kids.