"AITA for picking my parents up late from the airport?"
My parents asked me to fetch them at the airport as per usual. They are both semi-retired and travel monthly either for business or for pleasure, so this favor is not new to me.
They don't want me to waste money on parking at the airport, so what we have been doing for years is they message me for updates ("we have boarded the plane", "we have landed" etc) so that we estimate what time I have to leave. Since I am about 30mins away from the airport, I am usually asked to leave the house at the same time they arrive. This gives them time to leave the plane, get their baggage, etc.
At around 12:30, they informed me that their flight is "on time", and their arrival is 15:25. I was already ready to leave by 14:00, and was having a mid-afternoon snack at 14:30 while waiting for updates. Apparently, they sent a message to the family group chat that their plane landed at 14:45; more than 30 mins past (edit: earlier than) their arrival time.
Since ALL my group chats are on mute (work-related groups are also on that phone), I do not get notifications unless I am tagged/mentioned, so I did not see their message. I decided to check my phone at around 15:20 since it was close to their arrival time, and saw their messages. I gathered my things was was already walking to the door when my mom called and asked me where I was.
I told her that I was leaving and said, "Huh? Why just now?" I told her that I didn't get a notification since I wasn't tagged, and she ended the call. I got to the airport at 15:53, and honestly, I didn't think it was a big deal, but apparently they were stewing in their anger on my drive to the airport. When they got inside the car with my father in the passenger seat, he started SHOUTING at me.
Like no holds barred, voice at maximum level, and shouting at me about being completely irresponsible. Telling me things like "yes, I am telling you straight to your face how absolutely irresponsible you are!" and not giving me a chance to explain myself. We have not talked since I dropped them off. They have defended themselves to my siblings intensely.
I can acknowledge that maybe I should have checked the group chat more frequently, but I do not believe their reaction was warranted. I disagree that their reaction was proportionate to my "sin."
AITA for refusing to apologize?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
RoutineDefiant3950 wrote:
Honestly, they sound like they’re the AHs cuz who just screams at someone for being late? I’d be damned if I’d apologize. Were they dying and needed to go to the hospital? It’s not that serious and I can’t take people like that serious.
If it’s that big a deal, call an uber. People who scream to communicate are just emotionally immature in my opinion, but then again, I don’t know you or your family. Id say they’re ungrateful in every aspect because you still even talk to them and they treat you this way.
Professional-Spare13 wrote:
Yeah, no you’re NTA. But your dad is. Next time they travel, suggest they use a cab or Uber since you were irresponsible ONCE! No one should take such abuse, especially from their parents who probably have never given you a dime for gas for your thoughtfulness of retrieving them from the airport.
You are not to feel guilty here. Your father should apologize, but it doesn’t sound like he will. Enjoy your peace now that you’ve relieved yourself from the obligation of being their chauffeur.
NotACompleteDick wrote:
I have been in their shoes. I called when I landed and the person who was supposed to pick me up had completely forgotten. I told her "no problem, don't worry about it". I found my own way home. I've never done this to someone, because I track flights. But I don't have people who think using me as a taxi service, and then yelling at me when it goes wrong, is reasonable. So I have no blame for you. NTA.
NotARobotDefACyborg wrote:
Oh my goodness, NTA whatsoever! And that would absolutely be the end of any chauffeur service of any kind, if I were in your shoes. Good grief! He could have caused you to get into an accident, taking your attention off the road like that! What a terrible and inexcusable way to treat someone who is doing you a favor!
wharleeproof wrote:
I would apply twice. Once for your "mistake". And a second time when you explain why you won't be picking them up again in the future. They had to wait less than an hour, and mostly because their flight was early and because they couldn't be bothered to send you an individual message or call.
That's all on them. Let someone else in the family be their next free ride service if they are going to be that rude to you.
GardenSafe8519 wrote:
NTA. The MINUTE ANYONE screams at me in my car I'd be telling them to STFU!! I'm doing you a favor and you're going to scream at me? NO! You don't get to do that. So you can be quiet and appreciate that you didn't have to taxi/ Uber or you can get out of my car and get that taxi/ Uber.
Don't ever do them the "favor" of picking up or dropping off at the airport. They're grown, they figured out how to book travel they can figure out how to get home.
T_G_A_H wrote:
NTA. No more airport pickups by you, and I would hold firm on that. Unless they give you a sincere apology and you have rules for future airport arrival notification. The least they could’ve done was to notify you personally and directly that they got in early. It’s not on you to check all the possible channels of communication—that’s ridiculous!
hiddenkobolds wrote:
NTA. Their plane got in early. You were doing them a favor-- one that they regularly expect of you, no less. Surely if it was that urgent, they could have called sooner? Also, nothing justifies screaming at you. Absolutely nothing. It's a lot of entitlement, and a lot of bad behavior on their part.